Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS task 2: To speak a foreign language abroad - the life in a foreign land



chloeyyy123 3 / 5  
Sep 11, 2019   #1
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


adaptation to the foreign reality



In this globalized society, many people migrate to foreign country. They may feel challenging with speaking foreign language. While I do admit that this could be a problem for the first few weeks, in my opinion, however, their ability will be improved by putting a lot of efforts.

There is no doubt in my mind that it would be difficult for people to converse with locals without using their mother tongue. Meanings expression correctly is a worry, besides, language misunderstanding is also a problem. Apart from this, work is another salient issue. If people are in a lack of the language, most of the situations is that they cannot apply high-paid jobs. Those problems can further influence mental health, including heavy stress and depression.

Nevertheless, I do believe that foreign language can be learnt as long as putting effort. In addition, when people stay in an environment full of the language, it can force them to learn it quickly. The reason is that people are scared when they are in an unfamiliar place, so they would tend to adapt in the new environment quickly. This would give them a motivation learning foreign language. Furthermore, there are over 70% people can speak English in the world. Even when you are in the countries that are less people use English, such as Japan, China or Korea. You can still find people who can speak and even express what they want to say in English. As a result, there is no need to worry about those problems in a long term.

In conclusion, I only partly agree with the statement in question. Although people would face some problems when they are using foreign language in other countries, but if they try hard to learn, they can overcome those difficulties.

Maria - / 1096  
Sep 11, 2019   #2
@chloeyyy123
Hello there. Welcome here! We're always glad to see new people coming around. I hope that you find this feedback to be somehow beneficial for your writing endeavors.

Firstly, while it was great that you have smaller chunks of text sprinkled as blocks throughout, it would be of much help to the readers if you are able to properly compartmentalize your writing in accordance to what is necessary. Take, for example, the latter chunks of text that you have in the third paragraph. You were already including a lot of inessential information by the last sentences. Because of this, I recommend that you try your best to prioritize which information would be necessary (and which ones you can put in the bin for now).

The concluding remarks also lack a bit of emphasis. I suggest adding more of a follow-up analysis on this portion to ensure that readers are able to understand the duties and responsibilities ahead of them.
OP chloeyyy123 3 / 5  
Sep 12, 2019   #3
@Maria
Thank you so much for your suggestion!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: To speak a foreign language abroad - the life in a foreign land
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳