i am preparing for ielts, and i really worry about my writing, could u help me point out my mistakes about grammar, structures and logics, thansk so much
With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.
People have spent a large amount of money for universe exploration every year. Many people believe that humankind has been wasting money on space research, and they also indicate that it would be much better to use this money to solve problems we have faced to in modern societies.
Obviously, we cannot deny the benefits coming from researching and exploring the universe. Scientists working on space missions help people understand more about the history of our planet as well as other planets in the space. Moreover, through studying and discovering the universe, human beings can predict the changes happening in the future, which can help people avoid disasters and adapt to the changes better.
However, there are a range of arguments against above opinion, and people believe that the money would be used more effectively to prevent and solve problems humankind has been confronting with nowadays. First of all, people can use their financial resource to improve the quality of education systems, which is considered being the priority of all countries around the world. A nation can develop only when it has high qualified personnel, which can just be gained with good education. Furthermore, guarding against the breakout of diseases is also urgent issue that we need to solve as soon as possible. Especially, in the third world, the developing countries, they lack money to upgrade health service systems. They really need more money to buy more health equipment, train more health workers, supply more medicines for the poor, and so on. When money is used for this purpose, there will be decrease in the number of people die every year by curable diseases due to lack of medicines such as tuberculosis, fever.
In conclusion, personally, I strongly believe that using this money to improve the quality of education and health services is much better than for the space discovery
With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.
give more money for education and health services
People have spent a large amount of money for universe exploration every year. Many people believe that humankind has been wasting money on space research, and they also indicate that it would be much better to use this money to solve problems we have faced to in modern societies.
Obviously, we cannot deny the benefits coming from researching and exploring the universe. Scientists working on space missions help people understand more about the history of our planet as well as other planets in the space. Moreover, through studying and discovering the universe, human beings can predict the changes happening in the future, which can help people avoid disasters and adapt to the changes better.
However, there are a range of arguments against above opinion, and people believe that the money would be used more effectively to prevent and solve problems humankind has been confronting with nowadays. First of all, people can use their financial resource to improve the quality of education systems, which is considered being the priority of all countries around the world. A nation can develop only when it has high qualified personnel, which can just be gained with good education. Furthermore, guarding against the breakout of diseases is also urgent issue that we need to solve as soon as possible. Especially, in the third world, the developing countries, they lack money to upgrade health service systems. They really need more money to buy more health equipment, train more health workers, supply more medicines for the poor, and so on. When money is used for this purpose, there will be decrease in the number of people die every year by curable diseases due to lack of medicines such as tuberculosis, fever.
In conclusion, personally, I strongly believe that using this money to improve the quality of education and health services is much better than for the space discovery
