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Spending too much time in shopping centres could be detrimental for young adults



Nhu Gia Vu 1 / -  
May 20, 2022   #1

young people spend too much of their time in shopping malls



Some people believe that spending too much time in shopping centres could be detrimental for young adults and society as a whole. To a certain extent, I agree that this trend does some bad effects on the youths, I also think that there are several positive outcomes for communities.

On the one hand, by spending leisure time shopping, young people are exposed to a large number of commercials and products which only drives their desire to purchase and consume more. This can create an unhealthy state of mind and a consumerist attitude toward life. Besides, for individuals, spending too much time in shopping centres also means they are missing out on other recreational activities. It is well-known that those who spend the outdoors playing sports and doing volunteer activities will enjoy a much healthier lifestyle.

On the other hand, the reason why many youngsters use their spare time on shopping varies. One explanation for this could be the living standard of people is improving such as high salary. Therefore; people's demands are increasing significantly. In addition, Along with the growth in demand, more and more shopping malls are being established to trigger people's greed for possession and also provide more jobs. Furthermore, in a competitive market, companies not only focus on the quality of products but also consider the price. This causes the price down and boosts people's purchasing.

In conclusion, there is a tendency that young people are spending a large amount of time on shopping while it does some negatives on the young generation, It is undeniable that there are also positive influences on economics

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
May 20, 2022   #2
Though this is an extent essay, it does not allow the writer to both agree anddisagree with the topic presented. That is because the given discussion does not use the balanced comparative reasoning presentation. The 2 reasoning paragraphs still need to support a single opinion point of view. As such, the task will get minimal accuracy scoring as it does not state a clear opinion based on the required discussion format. The overall essay will also receive less scoring considerations because of the incorrect response presentation. The writer must have a clear single opinion right from the start1 discussed over 2 supporting paragraphs of valid supporting reasons. Try to avoid the memorized phrase " To a certain extent I" because it is only a placeholder that should be replaced with an emotional descriptive response. The writer tried to write a well scoring essay that was held back by the incorrect response format. He must familiarize himself with the various correct discussion format per question to achieve this full scoring marks.


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