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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.



thaonghiem 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2018   #1
In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry.
Why is this the case?
What can be done about this problem?


breakthroughs in the farming field



It is no doubt true that there are many breakthroughs in the field of farming in recent years. However, hunger still to haunt many million people over the world and the number of people living in poverty is no sign of decline. This essay will mention some major causes and measures should be taken to solve this phenomenon.

Due to the development of the economy and average people living standard, many areas in the world have faced with inflation and that would lead to growth in the product price including food. While the income of some people still unchanged and people in poor those who even do not possess any land to self-cultivate. As a result, if the food does not be provided in concessional rate, they would not access it. Another reason is due to climate change in recent decades. Drought, tsunami, earthquake and many other natural disasters have taken away asset of many residents worldwide. Some areas of Africa, for example, have not rained in many years. Consequently, people living in these regions cannot grow their crops. They depend on food that was grown in other areas and if that is not available, then these people will have to go hungry.

However, there are several actions that could be taken to mitigate the problem mentioned above.
Firstly, The government need to ensure that food is always available for needy people or at a reasonable price. For instance, in developing countries, people in need can receive free products like meat, rice, the bread which already reached expiry date but can still be used at local supermarkets.In addition, The authorities should also provide financial support for poor farmers such as Low-interest loans to create the chance for them to cultivate for providing food for themselves and for the market. Secondly, It is better for wealthy nations which grow surplus food to show the generous to share their excess with poor countries that do not have enough food for citizens. International organizations have to play an important role in ensuring that nations share their rich and resources with those that need it.

In conclusion, although it is obvious that productivity in agriculture has improved owing to technology advance, numerous people are still deprived of the food necessity. However, governments must have the responsibility to implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for the poor and reduce the poverty rate.

Lily Potter 2 / 5  
Dec 30, 2018   #2
Hi, @thaonghiem,

I love your idea and how the way you deliver it, but I find several grammar issues and I want to give you suggestion about the pattern. Hopefully, it will be useful to improve your writing.

This is we call introduction :
... However, hunger still to haunt ... and the number of people living in poverty ... do not give the new idea outside of question. This essay will mention some major ...mention what you will discuss in body 1 and body 2 (your own idea about the caution and the solution).

In introduction, you can paraphrase the question and mention your idea, so it will essay to the writer to read your essay. This is the example by revising your sentences:

Recently, the breakthroughs of the farming increase, however many people over the world are still dying of famine. The increasing of standard lives and the climate change are the main reason of this phenomenon and the most viable solution to cope it are government should take an action to provide food with reasonable price and the developed nations should be willing to give their hand to help the suffered nation. I write this sentence from your idea that you write in paragraph 2 and 3.

famine : (a situation in which there is not enough food for a great number of people, causing illness and death, or a particular period when this happens), you can use this vocabulary to paraphrase people go hunger

As a result, if the food does are not be provided in ...

Thank you
Keep writing, fighting
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15347  
Dec 31, 2018   #3
Thi, your essay format is not totally correct. This is a direct response essay. Therefore, the opening paraphrase should offer a proper and complete response to each question being asked in the prompt. The more correct prompt paraphrase is as follows:

Modernization of farming methods has led to the production of more food. Despite this, hunger is still a global problem. This is a problem that has been caused by the rising cost of food, even as the ease of production was supposed to lower the price of basic commodities. One way of solving this problem is by having the government control the market price of the basic food products. A more detailed explanation of the cause and solution will be presented in the forthcoming paragraphs.

By the way, you have written too many words for this essay. The word range should only be anywhere from 250-300 words. Please use a timer the next time you write your essay so that you will realize why you cannot write 400 words or more within the given time frame. You must also focus on revising and editing the copy of your essay before submission. The last 2 actions are imperative to helping you get a higher overall score during the actual test.

At this point, I will not focus on your grammar problems and sentence structure weaknesses because this is your first essay, which is commonly problematic for most test takers. Based on the simple advice given above, you should be able to write a better formatted second essay, from which we can work on improving the other problem points of your essay.
vietduccan 10 / 19  
Jan 1, 2019   #4
Hi, your understanding about the topic is good, however, the way you organize the ideas is your main problem. In your second paragraph, it seems difficult to understand the main point. The ideas are not really connected. I think the mistake lies on the way you write complex sentences. Some sentences are too long and include too many ideas, but there are other sentences which are too short. To write a correct complex sentence, you only need two or three clauses combined. This would make not only avoid grammar mistakes but also promote cohesion in your words.

About the problem of prompt paraphrase, it has already mentioned above so I won't discuss further.


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