oral vs written communication
It is considered that oral communication is competing with written to be the most major way of news transmission . From my view ,I believe that each way of communication has its advantages on particular situation but in general the effectiveness of written communiction is unchallenged .
There is no doubt that talking is the main way that spread information in daily life , its content is brief and focus on the fundemental ideas . The feature of spoken communication is expressing emotions by tones and languages , the attitude of speaker can be easily detected by them words so that people soon realise the purposes of the conversations .however the stories 's contents are usually affected by the point of speaker ,the circumstances that a news which is changed totally and report an unreal events is normal . Because of that reason oral information conveyance is unrealiable and not guaranteed . For a clear example the candidates often have professional presentation skill , them speeches can inspire and make audiences believe at that time ,but there is no promise that the candidates will perform what they say.
Compares to the convinience and wide spread speed of oral communication , transfering information by documents and papers has its own advantages . It is legally recognised and its content must be accuracy and authentic . Most of imformation related to properties , estates , contract,anoucement of goverment..is reported by written ,so that they are reliable and unchanged. In addition, imformation stored as text can exist for a long time without losing its power. so it is certain that written communication has considerable more force than spoken communication.
In short, transfering imformation by documents is much more effective than by talking in many aspects so that I completely disagree with the idea that spoken communication will replace written way.
Talking about Task Achievement, this essay is generally clear enough to understand what you were trying to say. However, there are some parts that you need to pay more attention to, such as:
First of all, don't say there is no doubt because it is a way to overgeneralize ideas, so try to use some phrases such as "It is understandable/stands to reason/etc.". Secondly, the point is too long to understand, because you are trying to write it in oral language, not written language. Therefore, I suggest this fix:
It is understandable that talking is the main mode of communication in daily converstations, as the speech is usually brief in information and efficient in conveying basic ideas. Moreover, it can also infer to the speaker's attitudes and give hints in important circumstances through emotion, such as in business meeting, where it is important to emphasize key information to clear confusion among employees or business partners
About the grammar, you have attempted to use complex sentences, but there can be some errors. Even more, I can notice some troublesome use of punctuation, which is definitely going to undermine your score. For example:
[...].however (However, remember the capitilzation at the beginning of a sentence) the stories 's contents... of speaker ,(in which circumstance) the circumstances that a news which is changed totally and report reporting an ... Because of that reason (remember the colon after this) oral information ...
Nevertheless, the vocabulary is complex enough to convey basic ideas.
And, be careful of this mistake:
"them speeches can inspire and ..."
Before "them", there is a colon and it is in a sentence, so basically this is a clause, which means it is possible to use relative clause here. "speeches" is also a noun so you cannot use "them" before it, you must use a possessive adjective (their). So, you can rewrite it into:
"whose (this denotes the speaker in the previous clause) speeches can inspire and make audiences believe at that time"
Good job! Keep on writing and improving!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15461 I am not impressed with your written work because you did not respond to the prompt requirement in the prompt paraphrase, which is supposed to be representative of the discussion outline in the essay. As such, you will receive tremendously low TA scores. It is not enough for you to have an opinion on the topic. You need to have a proper opinion presented based on the prompt requirements in relation to the paraphrasing of the discussion and response to the question being asked of you.
So the question is:
OP: To what extent do you agree?
That signifies a measured response essay of 2-3 reasoning paragraphs. The measurement is given using measurement descriptive words like fully, totally, partially, equally, greatly, among other descriptive response words. Your response totally altered the discussion of the essay because you indicated:
I believe that each way of communication has its advantages on particular situation but in general the effectiveness of written communiction is unchallenged
While you did place your measured response in the essay, you placed it in the wrong place. You placed it in the conclusion. The concluding paragraph is always used as a summary of the discussion paragraphs and your opinion. You can never place your opinion in the conclusion because your opinion needs to be part of the body of paragraphs where you can present a clear explanation based on:
- Your opinion
- Reason for your opinion
- Justification of your opinion (optional)
- Example to support your opinion
- Transition sentence.
Your TA score depends on you properly responding to the prompt in the paraphrase paragraph. The measured response has to be a part of the rephrased information because it is part of the required discussion outline presentation. When you do not place the direct response in the restatement, your score automatically gets docked for points. You do not properly format the response in this essay. You will not get a good mark for it.
