Every problem has its way to be solved. In this recent decade, the number of childhood death experiences a decrease. The predominant factor that brings this number get lower is related with the increase in income, so that the vaccines can be used globally. Concern with this issue, there is also a question of how to stop the deadly disease that is spread by mosquitoes? Answering this question, there are several ways that people generally do, such as get the bed nets, use spray with DDT, and treat the patients with quinine. This kind of thing can cut deaths by over 50 percent, but the most significant way in order to get rid of this problem is we need the cooperation from scientists and drug companies.
Moreover, talking about education, if we want to make a good education, the key point is by having a great teacher. Also in learning system, everybody needs to be involved. All in all, invest in education is the most important matter to have a strong future of the country.
the number of childhood death experiences a decrease
I think that you mean that children die less often. So you would replace that sentence with " infant mortality rates have decreased " or" infant mortality rates are decreasing"
that brings this number get lower is related
can be replaced with " leading to this decrease relates "
a lot of the words in your essay do not make sense so I would advise you to revise it , understanding it as though you were the reader.
Try editing it and adding my hashtag so that I can review it and see if it fits in the ears of a reader.
Hi Dila, I believe this is my first review of your essay and I hope it is helpful to your revision.
- experiencesexperienced a decrease.
- get lowerdown is related withto the increase inof income,
- Answering this questionTo tackle this issue ,
- such as get thusing e bed nets,
- useusing spray with DDT ( what is DDT, you have to make sure that when you abbreviate, you have to put the meaning of the abbreviated word ) ,
- This kind of thingsolution can cut
- in order to get rid of this problem
- is we need the cooperation from scientists and drug companiesis to be more cooperative with the health department and take part to clean up and keep ourselves organized and be sanitary at all times. .
There you have it Dila, as you can see there's still quiet a lot of work to be done in your summary essay, this is focused on the association of your words in the sentences and I hope you follow through with the corrections.
@dils
I think you should try an oppening that invites the reader to engage to your story, try something like "with the advance of technology today, doctors have reach the solutions to sirious problems"
good luck!
