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I strongly believe that inventors play the same significant role as doctors. IELTS TASK 2



putri22 33 / 32  
Feb 1, 2016   #1
Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree whit this statement?
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Saving a person's life is a noble act. It is commonly believed that doctors are more essential than inventor. I strongly believe that inventors play the same significant role with doctors.

In this era, it cannot be denied that doctors have crucial position in humans' lives. People who get sick need to see the doctor in order to be diagnosed what the problem is. Doctors also help their patients by giving a medical treatment that cannot be done by nurses such as a surgery or medical examination. Moreover, people who want to buy medicine need doctors' receipt to be allowed to get that cure. All in all, it is clear that the humans' health rely on the doctors.

On the other hand, the existence of inventors is also needed in this life including in the medical sector. The invention discovered by the inventor can support the doctors to do their job as well. For instance, the invention of a medical device that is used to see the development of a baby in a woman's womb and also to predict the sex and time when the baby will come out is very useful. In addition, the discovery of some new cures for rare ill such as cancer or lupus can decrease the number of people died because of the disease. In brief, due to the very useful invention in medical sector, it is able to help doctor to do their job easier.

To sum up, it is evident that the inventors are as important as the doctors. It would be unfair if people believe that the doctors are more essential because doctors and inventors can collaborate in order to save many lives.

(281 words)

angga93 42 / 60  
Feb 1, 2016   #2
_______ doctors are more essential than inventor . (inventors) plural must be compared with plural
_______ to buy medicine need doctors' receipt (receipts)________ it must be plural because there are many doctors who give their receipts
_______the existence of inventors is also needed in this (human's) life including in the medical sector.______ --> i think human's life or people's live is more suitable for academic writing
justivy03 - / 2265  
Feb 1, 2016   #3
Alifah, I would like to share my thoughts and corrections for your essay.
As you have noticed, there are a few students who answered the same prompt,
it might be worth it to read them and do a healthy comparison.

Anyhow, I would like to help in enhancing your essay, please find the corrections below;

- doctors have crucial position in humans' lives. ( or you can use "human existence" instead of "human lives" )

- buy medicine need doctors'doctor's receipt to be allowed to get thata cure.
- All inOver all, it is clear that the humans'human's ( be careful in using the punctuation marks ) health rely on the doctors.

- do their job as well.
- For instance, the invention of a medical device

There you have it Alifah, I hope I was able to help.
I just want to remind you again that your punctuation marks needs to be placed properly in the words you use such
as "human's" and other words alike.

I wish to see more of your writing pieces here on EF.


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