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Should students use smartphones at school ?



lynnx241 1 / -  
Oct 9, 2020   #1

smartphones and education



In today's world, the use of smartphones is widespread by myriads of people of different ages. It is thought that students ought to be authorized to use mobile phones at school. I believe although using phones has several adverse impacts, its benefits are undeniable.

On the one hand, using smartphones in class is associated with numerous advantages. Firstly, it helps communication goes on. If students have phones, the mobility and flexibility between them and their parents will grow. As a matter of fact, under any circumstances, students could call for help without confronting the predicaments alone. Secondly, smartphones suit student's educational purposes. In particular, it enables learners to access a wealth of knowledge to search for necessary information. As we are living in a technology boom century, electronics are moving into our lives and we could not do anything but adapt to it. So using technology is fundamental skill students have to hone.

On the other hand, its disadvantages cannot be denied. To begin with, smartphones could distract students from studying, and they don't concentrate on the lessons anymore. As a result, their academic performances will decrease and students would have underachievements. Another factor is that smartphones can be used to cheat on tests. Students can search or text friends to get the right answers. Besides, the lack of face to face communication due to the excessive use of mobile phones can worsen certain relationships. This is a severe problem that may affect students' psychology when they're adults. Nevertheless, the amount of time one spends on phones is contingent on himself or herself. So teachers should guide students to manage their time-consuming phones properly.

In conclusion, smartphones bring both advantages and disadvantages to users. I believe that students should use them wisely to take full benefits instead of becoming addicted to them.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15399  
Oct 10, 2020   #2
In the paraphrase section, you forgot to include the reason from the original prompt that explains why people think students should be allowed to use mobile phones in school. When you say that the benefits of having students use a smartphone at school, you should also indicate the 2 main reasons why you believe this to prepare the examiner for the topics that you will be further expanding on in the reasoning paragraphs. That specific presentation will help you gain a better TA score in terms of delivering a clear opinion on the topic.

Do not use word fillers like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand". That does not help to increase any of the scoring considerations. Additionally, this is not a comparative essay. The focus of this discussion must be only on the reasons by you believe the benefits cannot be denied. You are contradicting yourself within the reasoning paragraphs, making your actual opinion unclear to the examiner. Use a supportive discussion only for your point of view. It is not going to help to confuse your essay presentation.
daigonzur 2 / 3  
Oct 16, 2020   #3
You are not answering the main question as you are developing both advantages and disadvantages. You could separate both of the ideas you are mentioning (it helps communication, and it helps educationl proposes) and develop each one more so you have your 2 reasond paraghraphs that support the same idea.


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