[b]Some people think universities students should only study once specialist subject, while others think the universities should encourage the students to study a series of subjects in addition to the one subject.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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More attention should be paid on how universities provide a subject in their curriculum. Ordinary people think that college students only focus on specific part of subject. While it is true to some extent as they come to be a(the previous noun you said "they"but here you say "a") good professional person such as a doctor and an engineer, other people argue that adding some subjects to the universities curriculum make the students have an extensive knowledge instead of their primary subject as they will get much information to support their field subject. However, I comprehensively agree that the universities which provide an additional subject will bring their graduates into a highly competent personpeople(why I change so because universities identically have more than one graduate).
As a matter of fact, nowadays, most universities in the world have been constructing the curriculum only concern for the field of subject as they expect their graduates become a skilled person(in this entence you have three verbs but oneconjunction). For instance, a faculty of medicine only provides the subjects related to medical sector as they(they refers to whom? you have not mentioned people/students in this sentence) become a doctor. Also an engineer , when they studied in the universities, they focus on engineering subject(an engineer NOT they). From here(you may change this "as a result" because it seems uncommon in academic writing), the professional will only know about their field(remember that conclusion should be linked to the topic sentence NOT example).
On the other hand, people believe that a professional person has to be capable of an other knowledge which can help him or her(this object pronoun is uncommon in academic writing, it could be better if you talk as general such as "they/them/their") to improve their abilityies(you need conjunction here because double verb without conjunction is forbidden)become a talented person. For example, the doctors and the engineers have to know about some religion studies. They can improve their attitude especially in morals and ethics. A 2012, study in King Abdul Aziz University pointed out that 75 % doctors and engineers in England who have studied a religion subject are more patient and better attitude when they serve their clients . They enable to give a quality advice to their customers . From this research, it can be seen that education of religion is important factor in part of universities curriculum.[/quote]
[quote=mumtazdinar]In additionAnother point to discuss this opinion is that companies are usually interested in the graduates who have a good perspective and a mannerly person. While they have a good result in their studies, the companies always refer to applicant's point of view when they come to a job interview. Therefore, the students who have worked out the religion studies, they have much knowledge on how to be the best person in life. They have more value than other graduates who never involve in spiritual studies(this is not the conclusion of topic sentence/first line).
For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that although once specialist subject makes(it seems not appropriate meaning if you use "make" here) the graduates to be a professional person, the universities have to provide additional subjects to improve their students' attitude. However, students who learn some additional subjects such as religion subject will come up with the best solutions. It is imperative that adding spiritual subject in the curriculum gives benefits to the graduates and environment where they work or live(why environment get benefit from subject??).
For the reasons mentioned aboveso, it seems to me that although once specialist subject makescreates the graduates to be a professional person, the universities have to provide additional subjects to improve their students' attitude. However, students who learn some additional subjects such as religion subject will come up with the best solutions. It is imperative that adding spiritual subject in the curriculum gives benefits to the graduates and environment where they work or live.
(I don't know why when I read your conclusion, it seems that I repeat some repetition sentences that you mentioned so, you need to paraphrase it).
overall, please focus on the task. I'm afraid that it is going to be off topic. Thank you. Good Luck!!
