Studying English with a private tutor is more helpful than studying in English class.

Studying English with a private tutor is more helpful than studying in English class.The first is the attention of the teacher. When studying with a private tutor, a student is received much attention and care of a teacher; whereas, when studying in class, a student doesn't have a chance like that. Besides, courses and lessons which tutors make are various. Because of their much attention, they know the study level of students; therefore, courses and lessons are more likely to be various to adapt the students' needs. Unlike studying with a private tutor, courses and lessons in class are limited accoroding to framework of curriculum. The second is the chances of student. Studying with tutor, students have chances to raise voice and express ideas.They can ask problems which they they don't know thoroughly by their help of their teachers. Finally, the atmosphere between studying with tutor and in class is quite different. When a student studies with a tutor, the atmosphere is quiet; therefore, a student will concentrate on the lessons easily. Whereas, when studying in class, the atmosphere is noisy. In conclusion, studying with a private tutor are much more different from studying in class. With the differences above, studying with a private tutor is more helful than studying in class.

Note:
- my task is write a contrast paragraph about the topic given above.
- the sentence:'' The first is the attention of the teacher''. my teacher said that I need to correct the expression. and the sentence ''Whereas, when studying in class, the atmosphere is noisy''. my teacher said atmosphere in here is wrong word.I don't know how to change these. So I need help from all of you.

- I really need you to add into my paragraph more supporting ideas of each point to make it convicing:))

Hi trang,

1. I would suggest that, you can start your essay by mentioning your opinion such as, " I think, studying English with a private tutor is more helpful than studying in English class" because, student can have full attention of the teacher. I think the first will go when you will give more than one reasons then you can mention that like first, second and so on...

2. You can use word environment instead of atmosphere. the word atmosphere usually goes with surrounding of planet like earth whereas the word environment can be used for surrounding of human beings.

3. You can also arrange your essay in following two ways:
a) By comparing single single sentence of both views OR
b) By dividing it in two paragraphs.
Generally, proper essay should be in three paragraphs introduction para, main para and conclusion para. (here you can divide main para in two sub paras if you will follow point number 3b)

hope this helps:)
All the best.

Thanks,
Ana.