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Studying in university can determine the future of individuals and change our society for better

Linda91 30 / 40 3  
Feb 21, 2016   #1
Some people believe that the aim of university education is to help graduates find better jobs while some others hold that there are wider benefits for the individual and the society. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

Studying in university can determine the future of life. Nowadays, the question whether university education is aimed helping people to devise well-paid jobs or it can give larger advantages for people itself and the community are controversies with different opinion. I firmly believe that university education brings both of these benefits either helping graduates obtain better job or giving impact in individual and social as they are interconnected.

Firstly, university education gives knowledge which is needed to find a dream job of people and they find better work after graduation. Looking for a job needs certificate from university education today. Many companies require it and some proficiency that can be obtained from education in university. There is no doubt that the purpose of university education is to help graduates obtain better work.

However, there are a bigger benefit in taking education in university, not only finding a good job but also changing personality and community. Education in university can form the character of people to better personality which can grow social spirit and gives more benefits to other people in surrounding through knowledge that is obtained from university. A young doctor, Gamal Albinsaid, he receives awards from prince Charles from the British empire due to concerning the health of poor people. Low-income people, who wants to check their health, can pay with rubbish or crop yields. As a result, poor people get a health in easy ways as they can afford the cost of health check with ease. It can be seen from the example that university education can expand benefits to individual and society.

To sum up, university education brings many benefits, but the most significant ones are to obtain a well-paid job and changing society to a better life.
indah_hai 19 / 38 4  
Feb 21, 2016   #2
Dear Linda91,

In the writing task 2, if we are starting with Firstly, , we should continue the idea with Secondly, Thirdly .... or Lastly to going further.. So it would be clear..

Hope this will be helpful...
Riiskacha03 31 / 34 5  
Feb 21, 2016   #3
Hi Linda,

one idea paragraph is involved as topic sentence, explanation, and example or result and conclusion as an addition. however, your first body paragraph is not include those aspect clearly. it is good to put a conjunction as 'for example' in your example to make the reader can separate it from the explanation, except if it a clear explanation as the result of a study.

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