Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.
It is the opinion of some people that believe in successful life we need to give our maximum capability in work and is followed by our extra effort to raise it, whereas there are several keys to obtain the successful life without only do them. This essay will include some reasons why we need optimum effort and work to get our dreams and when we don't just need them to reach our prosperity in life.
To begin with, I personally agree that some essential factors such as willingness to success which must be accompanied by hard work and determination are worthy for our path live. As we can see, there are enormous people who have proven that the background of their successfulness reveals that they all need to give their best in works and their endless efforts. Usually, people who have the limit income or live in poverty condition occasionally have assiduous efforts for changing their lives. The real examples of people who can success by their determinations even without money or power since their born are likely Steve Jobs and Jacob Arabo who today already being fantastic popular because of the prosperity of their businesses.
However, it may be true if somebody else thinks that we need other keys for getting successfulness or we cannot just depend on our extra powers in work and the extremely efforts because of huge things of possibilities that we can find in our real life. Several factors such as the luck and the opportunity can be the part of people successes. For instance, in several countries mainly in the development countries, still there an enormous number of unemployment who jobless and cannot reach the best live standard as the general people. It is not happening because they are lazy or less effort, but some of them already release their maximum energy for surviving their lives by hard working as labors only just for continuing their lives and fulfilling the demand of life. Nevertheless, there is no job opened or limited of job fields make them encouraged for hard working in an uncertain condition in every day.
Based on my view, there are some real facts which describe that the lucky people can obtain their successes faster than the hard-worker people, and also even the people have already done the best of their capabilities but if there is the opportunity, sometimes their efforts will be useless at the time.
All in all, the willingness for hard work and extremely efforts are needed to back up our dream to obtain the successfulness, but we must be realistic that the key factors of prosperity sometimes are followed by the luck and the exact opportunity for getting it. (450 words)
Steve Jobs and Jacob Arabo who today
already being fantastic popular ... .Who are world renowned men due to the prosperity of their businesses.
their born they were ' Successfulnessaccomplishment
I really like your examples and all, but there seems to be many grammar mistakes that need to be corrected. Some of them are listed above. Otherwise your arguments seem to be strong.