IELTS task 2: agree & disagree essay
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which caused many health problems. Sugary products should be made More expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
A significant number of people assume that high-sugar food and drink products should be sold for higher prices, because of the amount of sugar which are harmful to consumers' health. I strongly disagree with this opinion for some valid evidence.
First, it is an arduous task to increase the prices of the goods which are too familiar with people like soft drink and fast food. There are plenty of factors involved when the prices alter, and they can be detrimental to providers. Hence, if a company accepts to do this, they cannot push the price too much or customers will abandon the brand. For this reason, consumers still can buy sugary food with a little higher cost. For example, COVID-19 pandemic, the moment when ingredients' costs became more expensive than anytime, made some corporations raise their goods' costs. However, many people still buy their products both for sympathetic with their conditions and for their royalty to sugary food, as long as they are not to dear.
Moreover, that a brand levels up the costs of their products will be counterproductive. A more luxurious kind of high-sugar food can attract more buyers who have enough financial situations to consume it. Therefore, sugary food and drink will not only be spread but also get opportunities to have a wide-open to the bigger market. For instance, 3 years ago, strong bowl, a type of soft drink still was unfamiliar with people in Vietnam, succeed in becoming popular thanks to a smart advertising plan which concentrated on its value based on the higher cost compared to others drinks.
In conclusion, instead of attempting to raise the cost of products, we should find out a method to change customers' habit and let them understand about disadvantages when digesting a lot of surgery food.
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The prompt does not require an emotional response because it is not an extent essay (To what extent...) Use the appropriate response method per question. Use a simple and straightforward response unless otherwise instructed.
There are several word usage issues that affect the clarity of what should be a strong response and reasoning presentation. Presenting evidence is different from presenting reasons. The instruction is to present supported reasons. This is where wason varies from evidence :
Evidence - that which tends to prove or disprove something; ground for belief; proof.
The word relates more to example presentations. The essay asks for reasons :
Reason - a statement presented in justification or explanation of a belief or action:
Your statement response would have benefitted more if you had used both sequence words to address the 2 discussion supporting presentations.
The reasoning and example paragraphs tend to be too wordy when it comes to the discussion but the word presentations always move the essay forward. While there are a few less than clear thought presentations, the succeeding discussion explanations help to clarify the previous presentation.
Please make sure to use capital letters when referring to product names as per word capitalization rules. Good job with this presentation, it is more than likely, a passing essay but not high scoring due to the casting presentation issues.