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Summary Article World's Tallest Water Slide Will Be Torn Down After 10-Year-Old Boy's Death


alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 23, 2016   #1
The world tallest water slide named Verruckt, which means "insane" in German. Recently, It was killed ten years old boy when operate, Caleb Schwab. Because that accident, the water slide probably will be closed after investigate was finish, The amusement park said that they have a plan to alter the ride with other in the future..

Source: TIME

harveysui2 4 / 6 3  
Nov 23, 2016   #2
Recently, It was killed ten ... ---- "Recently, ten years old boy was killed during operation," said Caleb Schwab
investigate - investigation was finished
akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 24, 2016   #3
Hello Mister Alfin..
I have read your summary closely. This is so short, but you still make the same mistakes grammatically. I suggest you reread your summary before you upload so that you can reduce your fault. You are supposed to learn again about the conjunction. Sometimes you confuse readers because you place the conjunction inappropriately. Besides that, make sure what you write is like what in your mind.Please, deal with my notes. GOOD LUCK


The world tallest water slide IN THE WORLD named IS NAMELY Verruckt, which means HAVING MEANING "insane" in LANGUAGE OF GermanY. Recently, It was killed ten years old boy when operate, THAT PUBLIC FACILITY MADE A TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY DEAD, NAMELY Caleb Schwab. Because OWING TO that accident, the water (...) investigate was IS finishED, .

... ride with ANother DEVICE in the future.
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 24, 2016   #4
Hi Alfin, I somehow notice a pattern here, a pattern of very short summaries, though it should not be an issue as it is a summary essay, but in this case, you need to make sure that a short essay should be written in a way where all the elements of the essay is still very evident. As I mentioned before, you tend to write shorter essays, which sometimes is good but for some reason, this one is not really within the range of covering the elements of a well written essay.

Having said that, below are my thoughts.

- The worlds tallest water slide (...) "insane" in German. Rr ecently, It was killed a ten years old boy when operatenamed , Caleb Schwab.
- Because thatDue to the accident,
- the water slide will probably will be closed
- after investigate wasthe investigation is finished.
- The amusement park management said that they
- ... alter the ride with other rides in the future.

There you have it Alfin, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and should there be any other projects you may tackle in the future, you have to note that a summary can be short but it should have a complete thought.
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 27, 2016   #5
Hi Alfin, there are several advice for you.
1.Your summary is too short to become a summary. It makes your summary lack of essential information
2.The world t allest water slide in the world named Verruckt ...
3.Because thatBased on the accident, the water slide ...
4.Recently, It was killed a ten years old boy named Caleb Schwab.
NinaJoesuf25 36 / 66 4  
Nov 27, 2016   #6
1. The world tallest water slide ...
The tallest water in the whole world is Verruct. As such, it has its own meaning which is "insane" from German language.

2. Recently, It was killed ten years old boy ...
Well, you mention recently here so it should use present perfect tense instead of past, and because is followed by subject verb.

Recently, in this place, Caleb Schwab, an operator, has been died because of such accident.


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