Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Writing task 1/ the table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types



ZIaf 1 / -  
Dec 1, 2016   #1
The table reveals the percentages of scholars attending in four different methods of secondary schools from 2000 to 2009. Overall, it is immediately apparent that specialist, grammar, and voluntary-controlled schools decreased during following nine years, while community schools increased dramatically as the highest point of total students attending in 2009.

Firstly, the proportions of specialist schools declined from 12% to one in ten from 2000 to 2009. Similarly, voluntary-controlled schools as the most favorite attendance-just over a half fell to a fifth in same period, and followed by grammar schools slightly below a quarter to became a small minority.

On the other hand, community schools tended to be chosen by a majority of students more than a half in 2009, whereas only a small minority joined in this school in 2000.

Pramudia27 34 / 52  
Dec 1, 2016   #2
helloo zlaf..
1. firstly please, attach your picture owing to the fact that nobody do know about your data if you do not do it
2. try to write longer than now. at lease 150 word .. and yours just 131 word


... as the most favoritefavourite attendance-just ...

... more than a half in 2009 while,whereas only a small ...
ifraanisa05 44 / 67  
Dec 2, 2016   #3
Hi zlaf, here are my suggestion towards your essay

UNDERLENGTH
in writing task 1, you have to create at least 150 words.
UPLOAD THE DIAGRAM/TABLE
people need to check your data, so you have to upload the diagram.

specialist, grammar, and voluntary-controlled schoolsschool
(.... and ......) before and after conjunction and must be equal

Firstly, the proportions of specialistspecialise schools
noun phrase. article+adj+noun


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing task 1/ the table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳