Talent shows - a good method of finding talented people, or just entertainment?

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today.

Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

In this day and age, people in many countries have been familiar with talent competitions on television. There are those who argue that these shows are an great approach for hunting the veiled talents, while others oppose the view and claim that they are nothing but amusement. In the following discussion I will show both the points have some merits.

Looking back on the past, people used not to have a lot of opportunities to manifest their natural ability. It is a different experience when these days anyone can participate in a talent contest no matter who they are or where they are from. These competitions are seemingly a golden platform for common people to show their hidden talent, turn their dreams into reality, and help them ultimately change from 'ordinary' people to 'well-known' figure. What is more, the competitors have the chance to receive worthy rewards from the shows like "The Voice", "Road to Mount Olympia", "Vietnam's Got Talent"... Also, they can even become country's delegate to go in for international arena with the aim of bringing fame to their own country in the competitions such as "The Brain", "Miss Universe"... Therefore, it is probably that the televised competitions is a positively good way to find gifted people.

On the other hand, in my opinion, the televised shows have achieved entertaining purpose greatly. Firstly, participants can have a whale of a time when joining in the contests, even if they are not winners. In addition, the amusement from these shows such as comedy, music... may bring chirky relaxing moments for viewers so as to refresh themselves after a busy day. Also, the more people enjoy the shows, the higher the ratings are and consequently, the broadcaster can earn more financial profits. As for me, it is probably an appropriate circle.

In conclusion, I am convinced that talent contests on television are a good way as a mean to look for hidden talents. Moreover, they could also be a really entertaining way for people who want to relax or want to give it a try intending to challenge themselves.

(Please give me your advice for my essay. Thank you guys so much!)

Try not to use words that do not have a direct relationship or have a different meaning from the original word. In this case, you used the word "hunting" in reference to the original word "finding". The more proper term would have been "scouting", which is what these talent shows do. They "scout" for new talent. The definition of the word scout is "to make a search".

Now, the original prompt is asking you decide between one of two things:
1. Talent shows are a good method of finding people;
2. Talent shows are just for entertainment.

You are being required to choose one of the 2 possible responses to the given discussion topic. You should have chosen only one topic to discuss as the instructions did not ask you to "compare" or "discuss the advantage or disadvantage" of the given topic. You were to pick one side of the discussion to defend in the essay. The later part of the essay, where you finally decided to pick a side to discuss, should have been the sole point of view being discussed throughout the essay. The comparative discussion was unnecessary and lowered your scoring potential.

As you can see, writing 349 words did not help your essay because you did not provide the discussion requirements and format as indicated in the original prompt. Writing more words will not help if you are not prompt adherent based on the scoring guidelines of the original discussion.

Ohh I think you're right! Thanks for your opinion. It's completely useful and practical.