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Target: Band 7- Writing Task 2: The influence of technology to lifestyle


chieumap2110 1 / -  
Sep 9, 2021   #1
Question:
Due to advances in science and technology, the lifestyle of people everywhere in the world has become similar.

Is this a positive or negative development?



Recently, the lifestyle of inhabitants across the world has experienced the similarity because of the lightning innovations of science and technology. As far as I concerned, this tendency is inevitable and detrimental to our everyday lives and soon becomes the main driver of our development.

Regarding the explosion of smart devices, billions of individuals, which are mainly influenced by some sole advertisement-based social media, have automatically adopted the latest gadgets at the expense of the environment. This is the result of the notorious smart concept that has been promoted in almost all media and social networks simultaneously, and it is widely accepted by subsequent generations. Consequently, the young, who is leading the changes and motions of the modern world, is willing to purchase the new model, instead of sticking with current devices which is still exceptional function. This is the reason why millions of high-tech devices are being discharged to the natural habitats every year, yet the government and environmentalists still struggle to express the problem properly.

Furthermore, these practices, which have been accelerated by the breakout of Coronavirus, are constantly surged and already developed the sedentary lifestyle among young adults. Since almost of day-to-day activities are executed via smart screen devices around the world, children initially adapted to this current adversity when they are in the age of developing consciousness and perception. This means that they have to be located in the same place and spent half of the day time learning through virtual class, which firstly causes the uncertainty in sleep. When all groups of friends are sharing the same habits and behaviors cultivated deeply on the internet, such as watching films and playing games, they would be fallen into the same trap that hinders their creativity as they have not truly experienced real life.

In conclusion, in spite of the profound effect on our lifestyle of the science and technology development, it negatively hampers the well-being of our next generation and gradually destroys our ecosystem with a great deal of technology garbage. From my perspective, if politicians and regulators will not interfere with these unfavorable tendencies as soon as possible, the planet would be turned into the worse place that we have never encountered before.

Thank you for spending your time reading my essay.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,579 3757  
Sep 10, 2021   #2
this tendency is inevitable and detrimental to our everyday lives and soon becomes the main driver of our development.

There are 3 seperate ideas presented in this long sentence. one of the ideas are properly depicted in the presentation. The writer must learn to present 1 idea per sentence. Otherwise, the essay will recieve failing scores in the C + c and G R A sections.

this tendency is inevitable

The prompt is not asking if the trend is avoidable. Do not give responses unrelated to the original discrission topic. If meant as a part of the reasoning discussion then, it must be included in the thesis outline response.

if politicians and regulators will not interfere

Read the prompt again. This is NOT a cause-solution essay. This solution presentation is a prompt deviation placed in the concluding summary section. The essay will not qualify for a passing score because of the open-ended discussion created by this disconnected discussion topic.


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