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TEACHERS SHOULD NOT MAKE THEIR POLITICAL OR SOCIAL VIEWS KNOWN TO STUDENTS


sinahector 7 / 37  
Nov 19, 2016   #1
TEACHERS SHOULD NOT MAKE THEIR POLITICAL OR SOCIAL VIEWS KNOWN TO STUDENTS

To commence, one of the compelling reasons that justifies the thesis is that students have a meager amount of time at schools. This invaluable time should be dedicated to assist learners to obtain knowledge in their field of interests. By speaking about a teacher's political or social views, students waste a great deal of time which in turns impede their learning process. Due to this fact, some countries prohibit any non-scientific topics in classrooms. According to a survey conducted by the Educational Ministry of my country, each year, forty-three percent of educational time at schools is wasted on irrelevant topics. This is near the half of total educational time. If we manage to stop this process, there will be a lot of time to improve students' scientific conditions.

Another equally important reason, if not more, is that it is possible that some teachers utilize this opportunity to advocate their beliefs even if they are wrong. Since a person beliefs are unique and peculiar, one might have a belief that is detrimental for the rest of the society and eventually harm the society. While adults have mature mind and can deliberate on issues and recognize bad beliefs from good ones, children at school cannot do the same and blindly follow an idea. Extremist all around the world are good example of it. They teach small children that cannot distinguish between right and wrong and shape their personality and belief as they want. These children have more chance to become terrorist. This clearly shows that political and social beliefs of a teacher should not be negotiated in classrooms.

SarlindaDS_27 42 / 52 5  
Nov 19, 2016   #2
Hello @sinahector, Let me give you some corrections :)

Firstly, I want to remind you that if in task 2, we need to give our "thesis statements" after paraphrasing the question statements. In your essay, you have already giving background statements, but your thesis statements are not clear. So, it will be better if before you give your further opinion, please put the statements which showing your opinion clearly by emphasizing it with words "I totally agree or disagree with.....".

Remember these points to build your essay :
after Introduction=> Break your reasons into two body Paragraph with clearly separation=>Then you can support each of your main reasons by giving one or two examples included the suitable results. So, in the final paragraph, you can give your conclusion statements by re-paraphrase your thesis statements in the introduction, and give your recommendation if you feel your words still less than the requirement of writing task 2.

I believe you have a good potential in writing, but it will be better if your writing style more structured again :) Keep Writing and Good Luck :)


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