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Technology has a significant influence on communication and relationships between people.

ilove199784 1 / -  
Nov 26, 2017   #1
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Technology has a significant influence on communication between people. Relationships have also been affected by technology, and in my opinion there are both positive and negative effects.

Technology has had a positive impact in various ways. Firstly, in education respect, online services allow teachers to implement distance learnings. Even if students and teachers are in the different cities, students can still take classes online. Secondly, most people use social networks, such as Facebook. It is convenient for them to share their recent situations to their acquaintances, however, they can also make new friends or interact with others through their computers rather than face to face. Finally, it is easy to get information through the internet.

On the other hand, these kinds of development also make relationships become distant and strange. For instance, letters replaced by emails and text messages lead to alienation from each other. Furthermore, many teenagers choose to make friends online, but people always show the best them and conceal their real selves. How they know whether the person they are talking to is in earnest or superficial?

In conclusion, technology makes a significant difference to peoples' lives in terms of communication. Although not all of the outcomes are positive, in my opinion technology has become indispensable in our current lives.

naseernasrati 14 / 33 10  
Nov 26, 2017   #2
Hi at the first here are some points that i would like to point out.
in the first paragraph and first line ( between people) AMONG
in the point that you want to add your personal opinion in the first paragraph you used(AND) transition word which is not interesting you should use different transitions.

in the third paragraph, first line ( these kinds of development also make relationships become distant and strange) this sentence is confusing for me as a reviewer.

again in the same place (emails) mail
in the third paragraph second line ( people always show the best them ...) them is confusing here
jrd519 4 / 6 1  
Nov 27, 2017   #3
Hello, to be frank I think you should take a stance on either being negative or positive, not both. In doing so you could elaborate and really pick a side instead of having to go between both creating a stronger argument. Also try not to use words like, first, on the other hand, or in conclusion, rather go directly into the point to make the sentences flow better. The side in which you take the "positive" stance has potential and I think you should focus more on that position.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,341 3364  
Nov 27, 2017   #4
Sophie, since this is not a comparison essay, you should not be discussing both points of view in the body paragraphs. This will result in a prompt deviation that could result in a failing score for your essay in the actual test. It is easy to remember when an essay is a comparative one and when it isn't. When the prompt asks you to "discuss both points of view", then that is a comparative essay. When the prompt says "or", that means you pick only one side to discuss in the essay. Then the format for the body paragraphs becomes:

Supporting statement
Expanded example

The stance that you should take for the discussion should depend upon how much information you know about the topic presented and if you can accurately defend it within 3 paragraphs. So whether it is a positive or negative stance will depend upon your personal choice, available information, and ability to discuss. Therefore, you have to consider the topic very well prior to drafting your essay.

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