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Teenagers get a year-long break for pursuing their dreams, travelling or learning something new

dongoclinh 1 / -  
Jun 18, 2022   #1

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university to work or travel

Nowadays, some people believe that freshmans are likely to defer university enrollment to enrich life experiences. In this essay, i will scrutinize this phenomenon.
There are many reasons bring a lot of benefits for students which lead to teenagers have a year-long break such as pursuing their dreams, travelling or learning something interesting. Firstly, people who delay tertiary education for travelling could be hone practical skills and discover new experiences by attending some mystery adventure tours or journeys . For instance, when we had a adventure tour in the woods, there were not too many favorable conditions for daily activities like cooking or washing. At that time, we obligatorily learnt to strike fire from two pieces of flint for cooking and collect water from river for washing. In addition, finding a job which is one of the most prominent reasons to enable students to be inadequate career guidance. The pupils who have not orientation of career in the future could try different jobs and then choosing the possible occupation for themselves.

Taking a gap year is getting more and more popular in the education, however, we can not deny that this phenomenon has existed many drawbacks. The foremost disadvantage that has been more parental attention is gap-year takers could be falled behind with their classmates. If the students defer university enrollment for a long haul, they will not have no reason to practice academic skills and then they may lose momentum from graduation. As a result, students to be not passionate in studying and gain low grades. Moreover, if within a pretty of graduate and no brilliant, the graduated students just find out jobs which are only entry level and receive a low salary.

In conclusion, taking gap year which is getting more and more popular around the world has a lot of advantages for students. Nevertheless, we can not deny the existence of drawbacks of this phenomenon that seriously affect to the students as well as the education.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Jun 18, 2022   #2
The immediate error in this presentation is the lack of proper paraphrasing of the original topic. The representation is incomplete when compared to the orginal. A lack of establishing opinion and reasoning topics have also helped create a failing opening score. The reasons relating to the disadvantage or advantage should have been immediately established in response to the direct question. The establishing response format was not achieved by the writer.

In terms of discussion response, the writer was not asked to provide a personal opinion so this should have been avoided in the presentation. This is not a comparison + personal opinion presentation. By trying to influence the opinion of the reader with his own in the concluding paragraph, the writer inadvertently wrote an open ended essay which will result in a failing score due to a lack of proper concluding summary.
danielsmith 2 / 4  
Jun 20, 2022   #3
Nowadays, some people believe that freshmen are likely ... In this essay, I will scrutinize ...
For instance, when we had an adventure tour in the woods, there were not too many favourable conditions ...

... and collect water from the river for washing.
When writing an essay you have to write about 250 words.

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