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There are many things which could be changed in my university; TOEFL independent writing


Different 1 / -  
Nov 25, 2016   #1
If you could make one important change in a school that you attended what would it be?

There are many things which could be changed in my university like libraries, desks, some teachers, labs. However, rebuilding the libraries is most significant thing. Because, my university need places to study which should be silent, convenient and it should have various, recent books, and sufficient computers.

First of all, students come universities to learn educational stuff and they should study lessons. Place is most important thing to study, it should be quiet, peaceful, comfortable. However, my university has libraries which is old and students do not want to go there because they cannot study in there. Most of students do not have area to study and they need libraries. Research from the University of Harvard shows that most successful universities have huge and suitable libraries.

What is more, learners should read books and relevant magazines to develop themselves. Most of the books and magazines especially educational stuff are expensive which cannot be afford by students. Moreover, especially engineers need computers which can be used for programming and nowadays searching in internet is necessary. Because so much books, essays, magazines, articles are in internet. For instance, when professor gave us project firstly we look at the Internet. Therefore, universities should spend money for this and everyone can use as much as they need.

In conclusion, there are many reasons why universities should have good libraries. It is the responsibility of university managers to provide convenient libraries.

Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 27, 2016   #2
Hi,there are several advice for you, perhaps useful for you.
1.There are many thingsaspects which could be changed in my university like such as libraries, desks, some teachers and labs
2. However, rebuilding the libraries is the most significant thing because my university needs places to study which should be silent, convenient and it should have various books ...

3. Place is the most important element to study, it should be quiet, peaceful and comfortable.
4.Based on the research from the University of Harvard, shows that most successful universities have huge and suitable libraries.
5. What is more Moreover, learners should (...) to develop knowledge themselves.
6. Because so muchmany books, essays, magazines, ... -->books, essays and articles are countable
faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Nov 28, 2016   #3
There are many thingsREASONS/ CAUSES/ ASPECTS which could be changed in my university like libraries, desks, some teachers, AND labs

1. AVOID USE "THING" in academic or formal writing, because it is informal.

2. don't forget to add 'AND' in the last sequence.

First of all, students come TO universities to learn ...

3. come + TO + universities.

Place is THE most important thingREASONS/ CAUSES/ ASPECTS to study. it IT should be quiet, peaceful, AND comfortable.

4. MOST IMPORTANT ---> SUPERLATIVE. So, you must add "THE" before superlative ---> THE GREATEST, THE LOWEST, THE MOST ENORMOUS, etc

5. same with number 1

6. You must add LINKING WORD to connect your sentence, otherwise separate it into two sentences.
ifraanisa05 44 / 70 6  
Nov 28, 2016   #4
here is my advice for you

There are many thingspoints/aspects which could be changed in my university likesuch as libraries, desks, some teachers, and labs.
avoid using thing in formal essay

Because, my university need places to study which should be silent, convenient and it should have various (unclear sentence), recent books, and sufficient computers.
pay attention when using compound sentence

my university has libraries which isare old and students do not ...
be careful on subject verb agreement

... are expensive which cannot be affordafforded by students.
passive form be + v3

nowadays searching inon internet is necessary.

Because so muchmany books, essays, magazines, articles are inon internet.
much + uncountable noun
many + countable noun


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