Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Which other types of job should be highly paid?
Nowadays, it is believed that top athletes, actors and performers can easily earn their multi-million-dollar pay cheques in a short time. Although many people say that stars in the entertainment business are far much over paid than they deserve, I believe they are entitled to the huge salaries.
Firstly, not every entertainer can get such high salaries. When we focus on and envy celebrities their wealth and fame, we are blind to those who fail to achieve distinction and still struggle for their life. However, even for these who have already reached the very top of their profession, their outstanding achievements do not come out of nowhere. In fact, many of them are not only very talented but also incredibly diligent. Only after years of hard work - during which they undertook extreme training, strived for excellence and endured great amount of pressure in life and intense competitions - do they bring out the best sport and amazing performances for audiences. It is unfair that simply crediting their success to merely "luck" and completely ignoring the enormous efforts they put and the sacrifices they make. Furthermore, the majority of stars do not hold their leading positions for long. They could suddenly come into vogue but fade away soon after, eventually replaced by the next younger, more creative and energetic generation. So, this relatively short working life and their dedication to work seems quite justification to me for the high pay.
But let's not forget that childcare workers, teachers, nurses and plenty of other workers. They also bring skills and strong work ethics to their respective fields, and more importantly, they contribute to the public good. Unfortunately, their modest incomes generally don't reflect that.
In conclusion, I think entertainers are worth their fortune and meanwhile we can also support those workers in lower-paid professions when they ask for higher wages or better conditions. The free market will never be fair, but if we stop associating money with 'worth', maybe the workers who make society better will receive a bit more of the respect they deserve.
In my opinion in the introduction paragraph (paragraph 1) you should mention other types of jobs should be highly paid, then develop it in the third paragraph. Here is my version of the introduction paragraph:
Nowadays, it is believed that top athletes, actors, and performers can easily earn their multi-million-dollar paycheques in a short time. Although many people say that stars in the entertainment are far much overpaid than they deserve, I believe those who work for humanity are also entitled to greater pay
Hi! Here are some suggestions:
- You forgot to answer the 2nd question (WHICH OTHER TYPES OF JOB SHOULD BE HIGHLY PAID?) in paragraph 1. This paragraph should paraphrase the situation and give answers to BOTH questions.
- Overall, paragraph 2 should be equivalent in length as compared to paragraph 3.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Your prompt paraphrase is incorrect and incomplete. You did not use the proper information coming from the original prompt for your response. There are 2 questions being asked that require a direct response:
- Do you agree or disagree?
- Which other types of job should be highly paid?
So, the last 2 sentences should respond by saying:
- You disagree with the statement
- What additional jobs should be better paid
This essay may have up to 3 reasoning paragraphs covering:
- A discussion explaining why you disagree with the statement, transitioning into the additional jobs that need better pay
- Refer to a job, say a trash collector, whose job is difficult and dangerous, but he earns far less than the athlete who gets paid to have fun doing what he likes.
- Cite another job, say a housekeeper, whose job is to make sure that the celebrity lives in a clean home, has good food to eat, but gets paid a lowly per hour rate.
The clarity and defense of your explanation is based on how well you defend your stance. Your discussion regarding the other types of jobs does not accomplish that. You need to be job specific and reason specific within the discussion / reasoning presentation.
@Holt Many thanks for your opinions, I will think about it
