Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


TOEFL Writing : Why do you think people visit museums?



Enlightenus 1 / 2  
Oct 1, 2011   #1
Many people visit museum when they travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specific details and examples to support your answer

With the development of the transportation, it is much more convenient for people to go travel around the world. Undoubtedly, many people like to visit local museum when they travel to a new place for different reasons. In my opinion, it is special exhibits and cultural influence that are the important factors attract people visiting the museums.

First of all, many people visit museum only for special exhibit. Take my friend Alan, who loves comic so much, as an example. As we all known, there are so many scenic spots in Tokyo which attracts most tourists around the world. Different with the others, the main reason why Alan visits Japan, however, is to realize the historical development of the comic in Japan. During this trip, he was also accessible to the latest fashions and got some ornaments at the same time. Thus, it is not over-estimated to say that the museum there functions as the goal of his trip.

Moreover, the museums show the cultural difference and the origin. Actually, it is the easiest way for people to realize their culture in short time. National Palace Museum can attest to that. Such the exhibits are delicate which that visualize the Chinese culture. For example, last year my friend Mike came to Taiwan, therefore, I introduced Taiwan by guiding him to the National Palace Museum. He was totally stunned by the exquisitely carved crafts. Besides, the background knowledge provided by the museum helped Mike understand how the Chinese culture developed indeed.

Clearly, museums play an important role in tourists' trip for many distinctive reasons which differ from person to person. As for me, it is the peculiar crafts and an access to the local culture understanding that most people visit museum while in the trip.

All suggestions are welcome
Thank you

Vincenzo 1 / 2  
Oct 1, 2011   #2
"museum there functions as the goal of his trip." => maybe not only of his, but of all people who are attracted by museums.

"the cultural difference and the origin." => maybe it's a good idea to be more specific? the origin of what? I'm always afraid to write such statements as the raters might think that you lack writing skills to express what you think? Though I am not a native speaker.

It seems a nice TOEFL essay. Wish you to get full credit)
minhtung9x 2 / 6  
Oct 1, 2011   #3
I think u should have three reasons :D
OP Enlightenus 1 / 2  
Oct 3, 2011   #4
Thank you all for your help.

Especially basawang
Thanks for your correction
Namnam 3 / 8  
Oct 3, 2011   #5
wow I also learn from their reply~!! It is really helpful~!!


Home / Writing Feedback / TOEFL Writing : Why do you think people visit museums?
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳