Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


Task II- It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others disagree



alistersingh 1 / 1  
Aug 8, 2020   #1

urban vs rural life



It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

There has always been a debate between urban and rural life. Some people opine that it is better to live in a town, others refute this and believe that village life is more suitable and I agree with them. This essay will outline both views and explain my view for the latter.

On the one hand, those who believe that city life is better would argue that it offers more entertaining life. This is because cities have a number of social-clubs and events happening around the year in which one can participate to take a break from the busy work-schedule. For instance, it is common for the cities to have golfclubs where one can pay to play for having a quality time. Not only this, city lives also offers more facilities for individuals in everyday life. For example, there are wide-variety of hospitals available in proximities and numerous fitness facilities to assist in having a healthy life. In contrast, city lives lack both entertainment options and facilities for individuals.

On the other hand, In my view, countyside life is more preferable due to relaxing and peaceful atmosphere. For illustration, most houses in countryside are deattached and there are not much people in proximity, which means less disturbance and more peace. This is a significant advantage in contrast to urban areas where most houses are in close vicinity and streets are heavily crowded. Additionally, there are more trees and less vehicles in villages making them less polluted, therefore, offering relaxing atmosphere. As a result, people living in countrysides are less prone to respiratory diseases.

In conclusion, despite the entertaining life and facilities that the city life presents, I believe, it is more beneficial to live in countryside because of relaxation and peace it offers in everyday life.

nnnn_1304 - / 2  
Aug 8, 2020   #2
I think that 'always' is not suitable for an IELTS writing essay.
'social clubs'
'city lives lack both entertainment .... You mean countryside lives ?
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Aug 9, 2020   #3
You cannot offer an agreement with the given discussion points in the opening statement. Based on the comparative discussion essay format for this essay, your opinion may only be formulated after you have discussed the public opinion of both points of view. So, you have an incomplete discussion presentation here. Of the two public points of view, you only discussed one. You used a personal point of view immediately for the other reason provided. The personal point of view is the last reasoning paragraph in this presentation. You have to explain the public opinion of the 2 discussion reasons first and then present your personal opinion. You cannot use you personal opinion immediately to explain the 2nd public point of view. That is because of the public points of view are provided with a reasoning topic in the original prompt. So you have to make sure that you represent an explanation for the provided reasons first. Otherwise, the basis for your personal opinion reasoning becomes confusing and with little foundation in the public point of view to support it.
OP alistersingh 1 / 1  
Aug 9, 2020   #4
@Holt
Hi Holt, I couldn't disagree more! I believe my essay is discrete enough and has an acceptable format. Although your statement is correct but that does mean the pattern above is incorrect. Please check through internet to see how many teachers teach this pattern.


Home / Writing Feedback / Task II- It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others disagree
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳