Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 13


Three important things in choosing a job. - IELTS topic.



uzboy 9 / 24  
Mar 14, 2014   #1
Please, Give Your Mark As IELTS score!
In our advanced world there are plenty of different jobs. People are always having problems with choosing one of out of jobs they are able to work at. So, what kind of factors should be taken into consideration in order to solve this problem? In the following paragraphs I will try to express my factors as clearly as possible.

In general, the most crucial thing is that people must have an interest for their job, and then they strive to do this post as well. If there is no aspiration for it, there definitely will not be beneficial for both their career and the community they live. Many people always want to get satisfaction from their job. However, most people think about family problems while they are at work or vice versa, that is why they cannot feel satisfaction from life. In addition, the reason people cannot get rid of thinking about their problems makes them stay under stressful conditions of the life.

Another important factor: it is exactly time. Unfortunately, mankind has not got a capability of controlling it. Therefore, there must be flexible and suitable time on the criteria of the job they select. And family problems mentioned above is the result of having not enough time for their family. It is true that one of the good methods to feel happy is to make family gatherings around a table. But, many people don`t participate in this kind of meetings because of their work schedule or being a workaholic. As an example, my father doesn`t come home before 10 p.m., by this time we usually have already had supper and sometimes gone to bed. If people have no time for eating with even their family together, how will they find time to solve family problems?

At last but not the least, this is money which makes the world go round. There is no doubt that the first thing in choosing a job as no one can provide their family with basic needs without good-salary.

To sum up, I firmly believe that people will choose a job looking through from every angle and every vantage point in the near future, but not yet; because the majority of people cannot grasp completely the basic concepts of jobs in life.

JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 14, 2014   #2
In your Intro, there are questions that decrease your score. So, don't write any questions in both Tasks

problems makes them
max2014 3 / 4  
Mar 14, 2014   #3
I think that the following text can be avoided and something positive can be written instead:

because the majority of people cannot grasp completely the basic concepts of jobs in life.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 14, 2014   #4
Ok, you are preparing for taking up IELTS. It is better you include your full prompt in the essay so that we get a better understanding about what it requires from you :)
JasS 10 / 30  
Mar 15, 2014   #5
I'm agree with Dumi!
OP uzboy 9 / 24  
Mar 15, 2014   #6
Thank you very much!

I don`t know this tip, it can be very helpful:

In your Intro, there are questions that decrease your score. So, don't write any questions in both Tasks

Thanks for all tips!

1. Hook - An interesting statement to catch the reader's attention

Can you give any examples for this essay?
Please, write some sentences relevant to Hook.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 16, 2014   #7
dumi:
1. Hook - An interesting statement to catch the reader's attention Can you give any examples for this essay?
Please, write some sentences relevant to Hook

Ok, let's do a few hooks :)
One would have to do a job in order to survive as well as to thrive (hook)
There is a saying, "A good day is a pay day". (hook)
I hope you now got the idea. You do not have to work too hard on it ,but start with something simple. If you have a difficulty with a hook, then start straight away with the background by para phrasing the prompt.
OP uzboy 9 / 24  
Mar 16, 2014   #8
Ok, let's do a few hooks :)One would have to do a job in order to survive as well as to thrive (hook) There is a saying, "A good day is a pay day". (hook)

Thank you a lot, dumi!
I don`t know about Hooks. I am really interested in Hook, after you have explained it.
I would be very grateful if you give some links of information about Hook!
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 16, 2014   #9
Don't worry about hooks too much. If you want to write a hook, write something very relevant to the topic, but it should be interesting and simple short idea. Then explain the background of the issue. Even if you do not have a hook and start with the background (which is by paraphrasing the prompt) you still would be able to go for a good score. However, it is nicer if you have a hook.
OP uzboy 9 / 24  
Mar 16, 2014   #10
Thank you again, dumi!
one question: If I write a hook, will it help me get a higher score in IELTS?
fanix 3 / 7  
Mar 16, 2014   #11
Yeah, of course I agree with jass statement that questions might decrease your score
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 17, 2014   #12
Thank you again, dumi!
one question: If I write a hook, will it help me get a higher score in IELTS?

Of course, a good hook will definitely help you with impressing your examiner and that fact alone helps you earning good marks for this task .... LOL

However, if you do not get a hook at once when you start writing, start with the background which is easy (only you have to paraphrase the topic ).... So, once you get into writing, you would get some idea to insert as a hook a little later :D That's a tip!

However, in my view, even if you don't have a hook, it may not be a very very serious issue.
OP uzboy 9 / 24  
Mar 18, 2014   #13
However, if you do not get a hook at once when you start writing, start with the background which is easy (only you have to paraphrase the topic ).... So, once you get into writing, you would get some idea to insert as a hook a little later :D That's a tip!

Yeah, It is a good tip!


Home / Writing Feedback / Three important things in choosing a job. - IELTS topic.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳