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Timing, distances, and social relations, forcing separation of extended family


legend777 5 / 14 2  
Oct 20, 2013   #1
Guys please give your precious opinions to improve my essay ;)
Nowadays there are so much differences in the ways people live from past; from relationships to careers. Whether extended family play less significant role in our lives or not, is a vital issue, since it is influenced the way we socialize today. I firmly believe that the extended family importance is decreased today, because today people are busy, and there is more distance between families and more variety of attitudes toward choosing relationships are exists.

One of the most important factor that contributed to this issue is that people have less time for having relationship with their relatives. To clarify my point, consider a modern child who spend most of the time in school, then in university, and finally in work. This person not only have no time for spending with his extended family, but also with his family. So in this modern hectic world that every one is rushing to work harder to gain money and satisfaction, there is almost no place for having relationship with extended family.

Another crucial cause is that now distances between relatives have been enlarged. This century was the burst of technology and this means better transportation vehicles and ways. In past people could not afford the difficulties to migrate to other cities or countries. Thus usually relatives stayed together and even leave in the specific local area. This closeness caused extended families to be significantly important to past people.

From another aspect, our social circles are widen and more arbitrary than before. In recent decays people prefer to choose friends that have common interests or backgrounds to share with them, from work, internet, groups, and communities that they participated. So they have a wide range of friends in fields of interests and no time for extend family which they have no common topics to speak about.

To sum up, there are numerous reasons that caused extended family be less important than before. I have mentioned points about aspects of modern life, include timing, distances, and social relations, that resulted this separation of extended family.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Oct 20, 2013   #2
One of the most important factor that contributed to this issue is that people have less time for having relationship with their relatives. To clarify my point, consider a modern child who spend most of the time in school, then in university, and finally in work.

These sentences are written well and have no grammar issues. But they sound a bit stiff as if you are defending your opinion very hard. Let them flow with more ease.;

First, it is the busy life-style of people in the modern society that acts as the main reason for distancing people from their relationships. For example, a child who is born in this era spends most of his time first in the school, then in the university and finally at work.
OP legend777 5 / 14 2  
Oct 21, 2013   #3
I have tried to use this structure, just no better sentences come to my mind.
OP legend777 5 / 14 2  
Oct 21, 2013   #4
Thanks Pahan. I wanted not to use simple words, so my sentence turn out like that.
phuongnam95 9 / 28  
Nov 10, 2013   #5
I think you can start your introduction by: " Families are divided in two kinds: extended family and nuclear family"...


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