[Toeic Writing Part 8 ] Some companies block their employees from using social media network.

Some companies block their employees from using social media network

In many corporations, despite its rules, staff cannot access social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram during working time. Personally, I totally agree with that decision. Indeed, prohibiting employees from using social media can help them avoid getting distracted, get more attention to their tasks, build real-life relationships with other employees, and lead to a result that boosts company performance.

Without a doubt, social media is a common source of interruption. For example, people can quickly get interested in something new that pops up in their newsfeed or their friend's messages when using Facebook. Some researchers said that you need an average of 20 minutes to get back to work when visiting social media platforms.

So that, if they are prohibited from using social media, employees will hardly get any other distraction sources in the office. For that reason, they clearly spend more time on work, and when needing the support of their colleagues, they must make real-life conversations with their co-workers. In the long path, it will decrease the time required for tasks and create friendly social behavior in the company and all of that benefits help the company thrives.

In conclusion, I think that restricting the use of social media networks in the workplace is a wise decision. Lots of managers realize the benefits when comparing the company's performance before and after publicizing that policy. I hope that blocking access to social media platforms when working will become more and more common in the future.

Short brief: Prohibiting staff from using social media when working is a wise decision because it stops them from being distracted, reduces the time required for tasks, and improves the real-life relationship between co-workers.

The presentation is not grammatically perfect but works for the purpose of the writer. While there are some incorrect phrases and references used in the essay, it does not deter the reader from understanding the opinion of the writer. The fact that he uses public knowledge as references works well for the presentation. However, some personal experience information would have also been beneficial to the presentation since it would have balanced the discussion between public and personal throughout the paragraphs.

Sometimes the reasoning the writer provides feels incomplete. Paragraph 2 in particular, feels under developed. It could have used better experience and knowledge referencing to add to the impact of the explanation. It almost feels like the next paragraph was accidentally separated from the previous paragraph. Had the 2 paragraphs combined, the discussion would have been better developed.

The writer shows enough knowlege of everyday English words. The discussion feels natural to a limited extent. I believe the limitation was caused by the ESL writing method of the student. There are instances when he seems to have transliterated the sentences, leading to incorrect sentence formation. This can be overcome in the future through regular English language speaking and writing practice.