rian31 14 / 22 Sep 13, 2016 #1Tontowi Ahmad win an Olympic Rio De Janeiro together with Liliana Natsir and won the gold medal in the sport of badminton. Tontowi loved this sport since third-grade elementary school, then coached by his father with difficulty because it takes extra patience to train Tontowi to be good at playing badminton. However, Tontowi showed fairly good progress then join in Argo Pantes Badminton Association (PB Argo Pantes) in Tangerang before switching to Semen Gresik's training center.In 2010, Tontowi played mixed doubles together Liliyana Natsir and reach some achivement, starting from their first win together in the 2011 Malaysia Open GP Gold, All England Super Series Premier and Swiss Open Grand Prix Gold in 2012, now got gold at Olympic Rio in Brazil.Although, there are best partner in the field it does not mean that never get tension between them. Sometime Liliana Natsir often to push her emotion because she know Tontowi aim an victory too. Tontowi hope's our struggle will inspire many people and junior athletes will following our footsteps.
Fitri12 28 / 53 6 Sep 13, 2016 #2Hi Rian... It is enjoyable to read your writing since it provides some valuable information about the new idols of badminton in Indonesia, but it is always good to share, right? the followings are my humble opinions about your writing:- Tontowi Ahmad win an Olympic (...) and won the gold medal in ...in this sentence, you use "win" (simple present tense) and won (simple past tense) at the same time, which will lead the reader into confusion about the exact time of the event- Although, there are (maybe you mean "they are") best partner in the field ...-Sometime Liliana Natsir often(which one do you want to use, "sometime" or "often"?) to push her emotion becauseshe know Tontowi aim an victory too. (you may say she knows if you tend to use simple present, but if you want to express that she has already known that, you may use "she knew, the meaning of this sentence is also confusing, you also have to pay attention in using article "a" and "an")-Tontowi hope's our struggle will inspire many people ... (our? Is it your point of view or the badminton player?)
