IELTS Writing task 2 | Topic: Culture and cultural identity | Words: 275

should ethnical identity of a country be preserved?

Question: Some people believe that citizens should keep their cultural identity of their country, whereas others say that it is better for people to integrate themselves into new cultures. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Answer:
It is believed that citizens should preserve their ethnical identity of their country. Nonetheless, others people think that integrating themselves into new cultures would be a better choice. From my point of view, fitting into new cultures will bring much advantages.

On the one hand, the national identity of a country is the one and only, so that people need to know how to maintain and develop their cultural specificity of their country. A country without its identity will be assimilated by others countries. In addition to this, a cultural uniqueness is a big "pull" factor for travelers to visit a country. For this reason, citizens should conserve their culture to foster the tourism. Once the tourism is developed, the economics of that country will be raised either.

On the other hand, integrating into new cultures will enrich and affirm one's own distinctiveness. This action will bring a wide range of benefits to the cultural identity, as people learn others countries' specificity and bring back to their country. For instance, the custom of celebrating Lunar New Year is derived from China, this comes to Vietnam and becomes the most significant and important festival of Vietnam. The subsequent explanation is when being exposed to not the same cultures, people will embrace and appreciate others that are different from them. The cultural misconception and racism will be effaced, then the world will be a better place.

In conclusion, I prefer to integrate into new cultures rather than keep my cultural identity of my country. The reason is fitting into new cultures will bring you a perspective look of the world, which is crucial in the 21th century.

The writer provided general discussion points in each paragraph. The assumption will now be that the writer did not provide a comparative analysis of the public opinion based on public perception. There are no proper pronouns used to indicate the difference between the writers opinion and the public oultook. This was further reinforced by the lack of personal opinion paragraph presentation in the essay. Had the writer provided an actual personal opinion paragraph in the presentation, the repetition of it in the concluding summary would have been acceptable. Without that paragraph, the essay is deemed incomplete in discussion considerations and without proper group for presentation. The writer must strive to present opinion clarity through the use of proper reference words to achieve response format compliance.