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Topic: Modern agriculture. Toefl exam!



Adamtong 9 / 30  
Sep 21, 2014   #1
Modern agriculture methods damage the environment, but providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment.

I am educated by schools and the media about the importance and urgency on protecting environment. I think it is stupid to sacrifice environment in exchange for anything,even if it is for the sake of benefits of agriculture or economy. However,a talk with my illiterate grandma makes my doubt myself. She told me that,she is the generation deeply suffering from hunger and poverty. When she is young,a full meal is all her and her generation's dream and purpose,not to mention a delicious and tasty one with meat. Compared to them,she points out,we are in a good time. Thanks to the development of agriculture and economy,we are no longer suffer from empty stomach. We do not know any skills or knowledge on growing barley or wheat,but that doesn't affect the fact that we enjoy our three meals on time and enjoy snacks in leisure time for granted. I also notice that, even though we are so-called "developed", we can still read news about many people still suffering from hunger and poverty in certain regions. This makes wonder if providing food for the growing population is more important than protecting environment?

Altering the environment without deeply research can cause destructive and unrecoverable consequences. I have read a case about Florida,the citric industry there famous all over the word. Drawn by economic benefits farmers alter the wetlands into farmland to grow more oranges. At first,it works not bad. With more lands,they grow more orange trees,and thus they product more commodities,bringing them more economic benefits. However,that does not last for a long period. Wetlands have the effects to adjust the environment,in general,they make the local climate warmer. With less wetlands, the temperature in Florida declines. Although the degree of the decline is not obvious to human,it is fatal to the citric industry. Hundreds of thousands of orange trees died in Florida,causing a huge lost in economy. Ecosystems are damaged as the organisms tend to live in wetlands environments died or migrated to other habitats and this in return makes it difficult or even impossible to reverse the process. This lesson makes me realize,before modern agriculture alters the environment we should do some careful researches. Otherwise, the action without deep consideration often turns out not only the damage of environment but also the suffering of agriculture and thus human.

I also wonders,as a part of the Earth, if human has to damage environment to develop agriculture. Learning from the failure cases,human realize the importance of protecting environment. Biology is a required course in secondary schools and ecosystem are very really popular research field nowadays which makes the importance of protecting environment as a common sense. By realizing the connection between human and nature, we are now trying to figure out a better way to survive and thrive in a more environmental friendly way.

There are better ways to solute the problem of poverty and hunger instead of damaging the environment. We developed technique and studied data and cases to make our nowadays agriculture more modern and environmental friendly. Many organizations and governments from all over the world would like to seat together to discuss the problem of hunger and poverty and provide resources and techniques to the regions suffering in that . Considering all factors list above,I do not agree with the idea--providing food for the growing population around the world is more important than protecting the environment.

sa1na 9 / 72  
Sep 21, 2014   #2
I think it is stupid -this sounds so harsh. maybe unintelligent is a better option-

makes my -me- doubt myself. or -makes me doubtful -

However,a talk with my illiterate grandma makes my doubt myself. She told me that,she is the generation deeply suffering from hunger and poverty.

1. you should change makes or told. They do not match.
2. Grandmother
3. She told me that she is the generation deeply suffered from hunger and poverty

she is-had been- young,a full meal is-had been- all her and her generation's dream and purpose,not to mention a delicious and tasty one with meat.

we are no longer suffer -suffering- from empty stomach (not a good word.) -lack of food, starvation-

We do not know -have- any skills or knowledge

This makes -me- wonder if providing food for the growing population is more important than protecting environment?
- whether providing food for the growing population is more important than protecting the environment.
without deeply research - deeply researching -

I have read a case about Florida,the citric industry there famous all over the word. -their critic industry is famous -

Wetlands have the effects to -of adjusting-adjust to the environment,in general,they make the local climate warmer.-making the local climate warmer-

Ecosystems are damaged as the organisms tend -tending- to live in wetlands environments died -die- or migrated -migrate- to other habitats and this in return makes it difficult or even impossible to reverse the process.

This lesson makes me realize,-that- before modern

turns out not only... but also the suffering of agriculture and thus human.
You should omit turns out. It does not make sense here .
-otherwise, the actions without deep consideration often would cause not only the damage..

I also wonders ,as a part of the Earth (does not make sense really, change it to something like as a part of the society, or something like this), if human-s- -,as a matter of fact,- has -have- to damage environment to develop agriculture.

ecosystem are-is a- very really popular research field nowadays which makes the importance of protecting environment as a common sense

environmental -and- or -,- friendly way.

and environmental-y- friendly

governments - governments

list above - listed-
OP Adamtong 9 / 30  
Sep 22, 2014   #3
Thank you,sa1na
I really appreciate your work.It helps me a lot.
RevtZ_hh 3 / 11  
Sep 22, 2014   #4
Apart from gramatical and construction errors, I think that this is a consistent piece of writing espicially for a TOEFL Essay.Keep working, good luck.


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