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IELTS Task 2 Topic: sports events. Type: Discuss both view

Nhu Tran 2 / 2  
Aug 16, 2017   #1
Popular events like the football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

international games benefits and drawbacks

One of the most debatable issues of the last century has been whether or not well- known occasions like the football World Cup and other international sporting events are crucial in decreasing stress as well as releasing patriotic emotions in a secure method. Many arguments have been made for and against this idea. In this essay, I will discuss both views and state my own position.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that sports events could bring benefit for people. Firstly, they will bring up the world peace as well as patriotism. It is obvious that besides political, sports occasions are other aspect that facilitate people to feel patriotic unity. For instance, in international tournaments, athletes from numerous countries will join in not only to show their passion about sports but also to compete with others. By participating in such competition, athletes will understand each other deeply and tighten the international relations. Apart from it, wars and conflict between nations are also stopped and set aside. Instead of keeping hostile attitude, international occasions bring nations together, at least temporarily, and interrupt battles. They forget their differences, compete pacifically and even embrace each other after an even. South and North Korea have proved the truth of that. In fact, after World War II, more and more arguments between those countries, but thanks to international games, people accept agreements to end their disputes and live peacefully. Additionally, it is also a chance to provoke an amazing feeling to play with best effort and win the pride for their country.

In spite of these argument, I believe that there are several negative aspects of international events. To begin with, Is is normal to have a small fight in a game; however, it could become a significant fight against as athletes cannot manage their temperament. As a result, relations between not only from fans of two teams but also two countries could be strained. Furthermore, it cannot deny the vital role of fans in national unity, but some sports supporters when patriotic emotions are too high, they will explode it in am aggressive way. In addition, discrimination also happen , especially as a team is defeated. In fact, when a squad, representing for a nation is lost, it will be discriminated not only by other nations but also by residents from their country.

In conclusion, while there are convincing arguments on both sides of the debate, I believe that international games are necessary since its benefits overweight the drawbacks.

Please score my essay as well
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,686 3494  
Aug 16, 2017   #2
Anh, there is a clear disconnection between what the original essay instructions are and what you are discussing in the essay. Please note that the original instruction for the discussion indicates:

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Rather than presenting an extent of (dis)agreement with the statement, you chose to instead:

discuss both views and state my own position.

Compare the two instructions. Do you see how different your approach to the essay is? Due to the fact that you did not discuss the essay in the manner that was instructed, this essay will only get one possible score in the TA section, 1. As such, the rest of the scoring criteria need not be considered anymore. You will get an automatic fail due to the fact that you created your own prompt instructions and discussed that rather than the representing a response to the original task assigned for discussion.

This is not a comparison essay. This is a single opinion essay. Your grave mistake just cost you the test. You are lucky that this is just a practice test. You can still redeem yourself and perhaps pass the future practice tests provided you take the time to really understand the original instructions and then represent its requirements in your response essay.

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