veganism may be beneficial or harmful
Veganism is favor of modern life due to various profits. Although I agree with this statement, this also creates harmful effects because of the following reasons.
First and foremost is the advantages of being vegetarian as it brings high- quality healthy, declining dangerous diseases and a comfortable spirit. Vegetarians are often active to join in outside activities more than non-vegetarians. Specifically, vegetables and nuts also keep fit and avoid some diseases such as obesity, diabetes, etc. Moreover, veganism extends life-span. Vegetarians will have a happy life from then onwards.
Nevertheless, improper vegetarianism will lead to serious consequences such as tired body and lack of nutrients.For a long time with eating wrong ways, their body will appear some signs such as poor skin, dried hair and then people do not want to do anything and have a sick. For example, young people is growing with veganism wrongly, they will not intelligent enough to learn everything.
Last but not least, veganism will be better if people use a reasonable diet and they will reach some benefits above. For teenagers, veganism is not neccessary to their health and complete growth. People who over 30 years old should have veganism to protect their health.
From all the reasons above, it can be concluded that veganism is good or bad, it depends on how to carry out themselves. To spread benefits of veganism, people should resreach information carefully and practice right ways.
Veganism is favor of (favoured in) modern ...
... dangerous diseases and (you are missing a verb here) a comfortable spirit.
For a long time with eating wrong ways (it sounds unnaturally), their bodyc(bodies) will appear ... and have a sick (get sick or ill). ... young people is growing (wrong word) with ... will not be intelligent enough ...
... and they will reach (wrong word) some benefits above.
People who are over 30 ...
... veganism is good or bad (wrong phrase), ...
... people should research ... practice in the right ways.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15385 Nguyen, the essay will get an automatic failing score for not having been written using the minimum 250 word format. When you write under the minimum word count, penalties will be applied towards the missing words. This often times results in a failing essay because of the other consideration mistakes (LR, GRA, C&C) that exist in your work. In this case, you have several spelling errors that could have been made when you retyped the essay, or you actually misspelled when you practiced your handwritten essay.
An additional TA error that you made is that you did not indicate an extent response to the essay question. You said you agree with the statement but did not offer a degree such as "wholly, totally, partially, to a strong degree" and other variations of emotional agreement. In this instance, you could have said "I partially agree with this statement for several reasons." I assumed that this would be the best measured response because you opted to do a comparison discussion of the pros and cons of vegetarianism.
There are subject verb agreements in the essay that stem from the mistake in your word usage. Learn to differentiate between the singular and plural forms of a word. In this case, "young people is" creates the plural form of "a young person". Therefore it should be written as "young people are". Such errors fall under the GRA section and will have a strong lowering effect on your score.