Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'The traveler should stay away from risky places' Advantage and disadvantage of the new locality.



Wiwik Mujahidin 21 / 3  
Apr 5, 2016   #1
Some people like to travel to somewhere new and different when they go on holiday, while others prefer familiar places.

Do you think there are more advantages or disadvantages to visiting new places?


A great number of people spend their holidays by coming to one place and other places. Many people like holiday in new tourist spots even though some people more choose holiday in well-known place. While holiday in new tourism spot make people have trouble about price, I strongly believe that holiday in different places make people to know new culture and can explore the place, the benefits outweigh than the drawbacks.

Holiday in new locality make people do not know the cost of their holiday and it makes their difficult to count they spending. This is because people have to provide their money when they go to vacation. For instance, people go to Maldives Beach, Srilanka, is the most beautiful beach in the worldwide with picturesque beach. People have to provide money about of $60 a day. It is not cheap, and it is compulsory to be known by vocationers. People cannot manage their financial affairs. People cannot enjoy their holiday and they do not have the good of planning to spend their money.

However, I believe that people who go to new places has some benefits. The first, it make people have new experiences because people can know other locality. In adddition, travelers can explore the place and they can make another people to come it. For example, Island Rio the Jeneiro, Brazil, in 1995, it is a place who are unknown by visitors, but a traveler try to go there and he get many the beautiful places. Then he make vocationers to come it . Now, it has become the best tourist place in the overseas. Again, people can improve their knowledge since they can see more the varied of the culture since they meet new inhabitants and new landscape when they take holiday.

To sump up, although holiday in new place make travel agents difficult to estimate their money, I believe that visit the new tourist spot people can improve their knowledge, the merits outweigh the demerits. Where possible, traveler have to keep their self from the risky in new place.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Apr 5, 2016   #2
HI wiwik, I would like to help enhance your essay by giving a few insights and corrections, please find below;

- holidays by cominggoing ( spending time away - going / getting back from a trip - coming )
- Many people likelove to spend their holiday
- in new tourist spots even
- though some people more choose
- a holiday
- While holiday in a new
- tourism spot make people have trouble about price,tend to surprise people with price difference,
- I strongly believe that holidays in
- makegives people to know
- new culturecultural experience and can
- than theits drawbacks.

- Holiday in a new locality
- makes people do not know
- aware of the cost
- makes theirit difficult
- to count they spendingtheir expenses .

There you have it Wiwik, there's still a lot of work to be done in your essay, what you're doing is writing in direct translation to your mother tongue and this is not English, what I like about you is that you keep trying, keep practicing and you never shy away from posting your essays here on EF, this is a way to get better in writing. I left a few more paragraphs that you can edit and proof read yourself, following the examples below, mind the flow of the idea as well as the construction of your sentences.
Diandin16 9 / 9  
Apr 5, 2016   #3
A great number of people spend their holidays [...] the benefits outweigh than the drawbacks.

This is my alternative for your introduction:

Vacation is one of the most preferable by most people. Others believe that visiting a new venue is a very pleasant way of holiday. Although, some people prefer a favorite place to vacation. Personally, I believe that a vacation in different places has many advantages such us getting a lot of experience with a new culture and be able to explore the new venue.
Ester Napitupulu 18 / 25  
Apr 7, 2016   #4
Dear Wiwik,
here my suggestion to your introduction:

A great number of people spent their holidays by travelling to new different places. Many people would like make a holiday in new tourism destination and some more likely choosing vacation on the place that was familiar to them. Eventhough travelling to a new tourism destination makes people probably get into trouble in their expenditure, I strongly believe that the benefits outweigh the drawback which holidaying in different places give people more knowledge about new culture and can explore that place.


Home / Writing Feedback / 'The traveler should stay away from risky places' Advantage and disadvantage of the new locality.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳