Hello Wahyu, You wrote this task 1 quite good. I personally reckon that you have included essential part of the figure where it is extremely crucial that you can attain high score for task respond. On the other hand, you should increase other assessment such as lexical resources, reducing grammatical error, range and accuracy and coherence and cohesion.
for lexical resources, you should avoid repetitive word such as respectively and stood at. You can alter 'respectively' by successively and 'stood at' by began.
pier stood at approximately24% and 10% respectively
festival stood at 22% and 30% respectively in 1980
for grammatical error
proportions of traveler
without 's' proportion
for coherence and cohesion, you should add 'then, afterward, etc'