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Traveling broadens one's perspectives



jole 2 / 7  
Jun 10, 2013   #1
This topic talk about traveling

travel is interesting and broaden the mind , Its faster way to know every you want and provide yourself with the knowledge about countries and continents especially if your major Geography, so is the best way than read books. travel is trying new experience in your life, meet new people, know about the cultures, listening to new kind of music and eating new foods.

the travel is the time of comfortable and relaxing from hard work. you can spend enjoyable time with your family and take a photos who are visiting. The most pleasurable time when you visit palace, castle and museum you know the history and mystery about the country so its so exciting, also dining in exotic restaurants and trying a pubic foods.

they are a lot of transports you can travel with them such as plane, train, car and ship, most people always chose the faster way is plane but in my opinion the ship is the most interesting one because you can see the nature around you through the trips mountains and ocean, and take photos for memorize.

I traveled with my friend Anna to Jordan we stayed in the hotel in Amman we went out every day and shopped after few day we book a ticket at travel agent to went a trip. in the morning we went to petra by bus and we have still walked for 3 hours till we reached to pink gate it was so exciting even though we felt tired and then we rode a bus to went to Al Ram valy its desert place and it contains a lot of tents, we watched sun set its amazing, then a DJ party was made so all people dancing till midnight we dine after of all we slept in the tent. then we went to Aqapa we rode a ferry and swam the weather there was so hat and in the evening we went to Japanese mall finally through the way we returned home we played buzzle and joking with the group and guided tour, we reached to the hotel and saw all pictures we took.

In my opinion everyone should travel for relaxing and cognition, Its very important ti spend time with your family. The life and time are not waiting for us to spend time with your loved ones and your family.

Lady Elle 5 / 8  
Jun 10, 2013   #2
You should include visiting the Philippines in your list. ;)
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 11, 2013   #3
travel is interesting and broaden the mind

Hey... you need to start sentences with capital letters and that's basics :P

travel is interesting and broaden the mind , Its faster way to know every you want and provide yourself with the knowledge about countries and continents especially if your major Geography, so is the best way than read books. travel is trying new experience in your life, meet new people, know about the cultures, listening to new kind of music and eating new foods.

This is your introduction and it consists of just one very very long sentence. Split this into a few lines to improve its clarity and presentation.

Also, it's better to include your essay topic/prompt in the post so that you get more relevant feed backs.
OP jole 2 / 7  
Jun 12, 2013   #4
Thanks for u notes did u mean my assay is weak i need to write more information
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 12, 2013   #5
Well... I didn't mean that.... but, it is good to pay a little attention to your essay structure. The more you practice the more you can improve. I guess you are preparing for IELTS or TOEFL.
OP jole 2 / 7  
Jun 14, 2013   #6
Thanks a lot for ur help, the two topics are more benefit for me I will apply ur note for the next assey


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