Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Writing Task 2 - Travelling to other countries with appreciation for different customs

Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Feb 16, 2017   #1
Some people think visitors to other countries should imitate local custom and behaviors. Some people disagree, they think the house country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss the two views and give your opinion.

respect for locals and their culture

It may be true for some people traveling overseas have to follow behaviors and values believed by local society while others believe that the home country should appreciate different cultures brought by travelers. This essay will discuss the two points of view.

It is good for foreign people to imitate local custom and behaviors when they travel to other countries. It is a sign that they appreciate what local people believe and it will help them to mingle with everyone who lives there. In addition, it is undeniable that international tourists who behave locally can prevent themselves from conflict with local people because there will be no cultural clash between the local culture and theirs, and they will enjoy their traveling more. For example: to be accepted by the native, European people traveling to Islamic countries should not drink alcohol in public area because it is against Islamic values which forbid Muslim to drink it.

Apart from previous explanation, it is believed that a visited country should accept cultural differences due to several reasons. Foreign travelers may have a hard time and need to take a longer time to adjust to the local culture which is totally new for them so that native people cannot force them to behave as they do. In addition, appreciating new culture shows that local people have high tolerance level and are friendly to welcome anyone who has different behaviors and values. It will be beneficial to boost the number of tourists to that country.

In conclusion, while foreign people are required to appreciate and follow local values because it will help them to mingle easily with natives and have a more enjoyable visit, local people should also welcome other's cultures in order to make them comfortable to live in and increase the potential of their tourism sector.

@holt , please examine this writing

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,848 2137  
Feb 16, 2017   #2
Lincoln, the overall score for this essay will fall under the 4 bracket based on the discussion that you have presented. The overview summary and outline stated in your opening paragraph is incomplete. Since this paragraph is supposed to outline all paragraph topics in chronological order, the fact that you did not indicate that you will be stating your opinion, after a discussion of the two points of view made the summary incomplete and the task accuracy score fall in the scoring system.

Aside from that, you did not accurately represent the two opinions in the essay, per paragraph as being one of the two points of view that you are discussing from an impartial standpoint. It appears that both points of view relied on your personal opinion. That is not the instruction for the essay. You were to present a paragraph long discussion for each point of view first, then present your personal opinion in the 4th paragraph, prior to your concluding statement. These mistakes, when taken collectively into account, resulted in a low score. It is sad that you got a 4 based on a technicality. The mistake in the discussion form affected the overall score of the essay.
OP Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Feb 16, 2017   #3
@holt, thank a lot holt, I will take it as a not.
haleshi 1 / 3  
Feb 16, 2017   #4

In the conclusion, the sentence seems very complicated. It is good to use complex sentences without hampering the meaning.
We can re write the conclusion by splitting into two sentence.

... cultures in order to make them comfortable. This eventually result in increasing the potential of their tourism sector.

Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - Travelling to other countries with appreciation for different customs