Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Travelling to Work in Houston and the most popular choice of transportation - IELTS Task 1


Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 15, 2016   #1
The table explains about the kind of transport which people use to go to work and and the bar charts shows how much CO2 emission from each form of transport. Overall, the most common vehicle is cars with only one person and it causes more pollution than combination of other vehicles.

Looking at the details, the most popular means of transport is car at 48 per cent while cycle or walk is the least common transport at 4 per cent. Car with one person outnumbering train/bus by 5 per cent. Car with more than one person has a lower percentage than train/bus but higher than cycle/walk. Train or bus has the highest average age while cycle/walk has the lowest average age.

The vehicle which cause the most pollution is car with driver only at 0.32 kg/person/km while cycle/walk do not cause pollution at all. Car with 3 pasangers has lower CO2 emission than a car with driver only but it has higher number than bus/train.




akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 16, 2016   #2
Hi Farida.
Let me help you. We will establish the good writing together. Please, you meet my footnote and tackle those.


The table explains about the kindS of transport (...) to work and and the bar charts shows how much (...) form of THE transport.
Overall, the most common vehicle is cars with only one person and it causes more pollution than combination of other vehicles.
(You only describe the data. I hope you can conduct improvisation with engaging the meaning of the data. Pay attention to my example below)

OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN OBVIOUSLY THAT CITIZEN IN HOUSTON TENDS TO DRIVE AN AUTOMOBILE NOT ENGAGING OTHER PASSENGERS WHEREAS ITS POLLUTION SUPPLIES THE HIGHEST PROPORTION. IN ANY CASE, WHILE THE YOUNGEST PEOPLE OF CATEGORIES PREFER USING A CYCLE OR WALK, A TRAIN OR BUS SUCCESSFULLY GAINS ATTENTION OF THE CITIZENS AGED AVERAGE 47 YEARS.

... the most popular means of transport IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE is THE car at 48 per cent while THE cycle or walk is the least common transport at 4 per cent ONE TWELVETH AS MUCH (Make it more varied, be not rigid). THE Car with one person outnumbering THE train OR bus by 5 per cent. THE Car with more than.

The vehicle which causeS the most pollution is THE car with driver only ...
THE Car with 3 pasangers PASSENGERS has lower CO2 emission....

Note: Please, You pay attention to my improvements given previously. In fact, you show some of the same mistakes. First of all, you learn about locating the article. You have to remember that Countable Noun must have the article (A/An/The). It is the minor error, but your score will be influenced. After that, each paragraph should have more than 2 sentences. Lastly, you must find the sense of the writing task 1. It is how you can compare amongst the figures.

I believe you can show the better progress the next term.
I advise you should read more examples of the writing so that you can find the sense of writing flow.
Keep spirit
Happy writing.


Home / Writing Feedback / Travelling to Work in Houston and the most popular choice of transportation - IELTS Task 1