Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

The triumph of the Internet has initiated a new era: The Merits and Drawbacks of The Internet

korbansuspendcuy 8 / 18  
Oct 5, 2016   #1
The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.
What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

The triumph of the Internet has initiated a new era of the mechanism in how people communicate to one another. Apart from the upsides in the transformation of communication methods, Internet generates various detrimental consequences as well as society should be able to overcome the potential problems.

Initially, the general public are somewhat more individual as they consider for gaining all of the information from the Internet without asking others. Individualism certainly leads to the extinction of conventional information sharing system and culture diversity. Subsequently, due to the fact that information sharing system in Internet is free and easy, the practice of piracy toward legal right will rise dramatically and adverse to the patent holder. According to the recent study (2011) taken from Bloomberg, for example, it listed $13.5 billion dollars lost in sales in Europe, combining of all major software companies. Afterwards, the communication among people tends to be less in quality because it only relies on electronic devices never being as real as the face-to-face talk. Therefore, the amount of bias will emerge in terms of seeking the meaning of communication.

In order to confront the challenges, firstly, the fundamental education for youngsters should cast a light on restraining juvenile delinquencies and therefore young generation are ready to utilise Internet in the appropriate way and they will be benefitted from the myriad sources of study materials. Next, the piracy eradication in the Internet is compulsory for government to announce a strict IT law to defend the patent holders. In addition, the technology companies are able to improve their research and development programme in order to attain the cutting-edge technology willing to decrease the feeling of distant relations.

In conclusion, the Internet is clearly able to provide an array of boons in the state of communication. However, this improvement still has several pernicious damages to the vast majority of people and these problems should be solved to acquire merits from the Internet.

Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Oct 5, 2016   #2
Dear korban
Let me give you some advices

Overall, you have done. you use advance english language. it makes me need to open dictionary every single second in order to understand your writing. and i admire it. however, maybe you need to add solution in term of education such as involving schools to educate students how to use internet in the appropriate way.

and Also pay attention with paraphrase, whether the word is used in proper condition or not

keep writing
OP korbansuspendcuy 8 / 18  
Oct 5, 2016   #3
hi lincoln..
I have to tell you that I tried to make it in very consuming time.
I'm so exhausted to create this essay.

anw, do you have some advice in how I can minimise the time but I am still able to create a good essay?

I need many advice from everybody..
I think I'm running out the time to study english..
thank you..
your reply is an honour for me..

Home / Writing Feedback / The triumph of the Internet has initiated a new era: The Merits and Drawbacks of The Internet