Two distinct stages, which are conventional and modern methods in the production of black tea

( this is ielts writing task 1, what band I could get through this answer and how to fix it to become a band 8-9 essay?)

different processes for manufacturing black tea

Given is a diagram illustrating two distinct stages, which are conventional and modern methods in the production of black tea.

Overall, this product undergoes five main steps, commencing with tea leaf harvesting and culminating in the drying phase.

In the first step, only buds and two top leaves are collected in order to guarantee high-quality tea. After gathering raw materials, a withering process is conducted. In this phase, the leaves are dried by passing air through them on racks to remove 60% of the moisture in them.

Following the preliminary treatment, either a traditional or modern method is adopted to treat the black tea. Regarding the former process, loose tea is created by rolling the leaves flat and breaking them into smaller pieces, during which enzymes are released from the tea leaves. In the latter process, the materials are quickly cut, torn, and curled into granular pieces on purpose to produce tea bags.

Subsequently, the products of these two methods experience an oxidation or fermentation phase, where the leaves are spread on tiles or cement in order to facilitate the reaction between enzymes and air, which turns the tea leaves a copper color. After that, ovens or hot air dryers are utilized to dehydrate the black tea. Thanks to this step, 3% of the moisture is left, plus the flavor and aroma of the leaves are created.

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The summary overview is the most faulty aspect of this presentation. It incompletely identifies the procedural diagram and, it fails to refer to the separation of manufacturing at the proper moment in the paragraph. The reader is left more confused than informed by that paragraph.

Further problems are created by your failure to properly divide the presentation into the traditional and modern methods. By being unable to show the separation, your report fails to inform the reader based upon each manufacturing method. Even though the procedures eventually meet again after diverging, acknowledging the separation was integral to the clarity of your presentation.

My apologies for not being able to use the scoring method for your essay. You have to contact me privately so that I can assess your work using the proper scoring methods as these apply to the task 2 essay.

@Holt thank you so much