Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


IELTS task two essay about job satisfaction



hastihyt 1 / -  
Dec 20, 2013   #1
Job satisfaction is one of the most important parameters that can strongly influence adulthood well beings, as majority of an adult's time is allocated to the job. Admittedly, people are nowadays more cautious about choosing a job.

Generally, the amount of salary which employees are paid, can be contributed to job satisfaction. To explain it more, employees tend to be more satisfied with their jobs when their wages commensurate their knowledge, skill and experiences.

Furthermore, the second parameter which can be contributed to job satisfaction is promotion. Considering an employee who has worked for a company more than ten years, but is still in the same position, sounds disappointing and can affects the employees satisfaction with the job.

But the reality is something else which almost none of the mentioned factors, at least in my country, are fulfilled. Unfortunately in my country because of the imbalance between the salaries and employees experiences, skills and knowledge, majority of the most adroit employees tend to immigrate overseas where their expectation would be answered.

To sum up, although things in reality differ from things in the employees expectation, T believe that if governments or any one with superior position, start to consider the mentioned factors, the far distance between the reality and the employees requirements could become lessen.

FrankZheng 3 / 14  
Dec 20, 2013   #2
Please POST THE QUESTION with your essay.

1,

Admittedly, people are nowadays more cautious about choosing a job.

Give a reason why we are more cautious.

2, The usage of the verb 'contribute'.
Something contributes to ....

3,

Generally, the amount of salary which employees are paid, can be contributed to job satisfaction. To explain it more, employees tend to be more satisfied with their jobs when their wages commensurate their knowledge, skill and experiences.

The second sentence just repeats your previous idea. Perhaps , it is better to give a reason or result.

4,

sounds disappointing and can affectsaffect the employees satisfaction withfrom the job.

5,

because of the imbalancemismatch between the salaries and employees experiences, skills and knowledge

I am not sure with the word 'mismatch'. But, 'imbalance' is not appropriate here.

6,

although things in reality differ from things incould not meet the employees' expectation

7,

I believe if governments or any one with superior position, start to consider the mentioned factors, the far distance between the reality and the employees requirements could become lessen.

Restructure it to emphasize the result.

I believe that the far distance between the reality and the employees' requirements expectations could becomewould be lessen, if governments or any one with superior position, start to consider the mentioned factors.

By the way , I don't think that the fact can be changed with the government's involvement .
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Dec 20, 2013   #3
Please POST THE QUESTION with your essay.

Yes, it is important to know your title for us to provide you more meaningful comments.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS task two essay about job satisfaction
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳