Uncertain future of the wild animals - argument essay

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century

Many arguments about the protection for wild animals have been a considerable problem since animals have vital needs for human. Which I believe that wild creatures take an essential place in the 21st century and the protection is needed.

In my opinion, wild animals do have a significantly place in the 21st century. But the human are the one who take their places, kill them and destroying their habitats. For example, Amazon forest is home for many kinds of animals and plants, but people have destroyed their home to expand urban areas. Though Amazon and other forests help in maintaning Earth's climate, the cost of managing consequences are far outweigh than the cost of conservation. Nevertheless, there are still places for them to live and be protected. Human and animals can stay side by side without harming their places.

The argument in favour of higher profits from using animals would be that they are used for various fields like medical, food, fashion, tourism and so on.However, I believe this to be a very shortsighted view. Animals have to suffer and their species are reduced which could lead to the extinction in near future. Furthermore, animals take part in balancing the ecosystem and also preventing climate change. For instance, number of harmful species are always under controlled by another group as its food resources like bird eating insects. Another example which have most of arguments like miles are used in lab for testing medicine or many parts of animals body such as elephant's tusk or rhinoceros's horn for human health. In conclusion, we can't deny how important animals to human. If people don't take action immediately, wild animals will die out and human are the only one get disadvantages. So that, the protection is truly necessary to save wild animals out of dangers and extinction.

In short, I completely disagree with the idea that wild animals have no place and just a waste of resources. The conservation are indeed emergency and needed.

@haruhi1763
you should give some examples to prove your opinion.

Your prompt paraphrase is not proper. It does not contain any information from the original prompt which is:

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The original prompt asked you to give a measured response in your paraphrasing of the topic, reasons, and discussion response. You failed to deliver on all counts. Your response is not related to the question at all. This will result in a lower than expected TA score for you. This could lead to your failure to get a passing score in the end. You should never save the actual measured response for the end of the essay. Since the question is asked at the start, the response needs to be given at the start. That is because the measured response will be the basis of your 2 discussion paragraphs. You must give your response then offer 2 reasons that support your opinion as the discussion outline. This will help to give you a better score because your opinion will be clearly stated in the presentation, in the portion where it can help your score the most.

Have you timed yourself when writing an essay? You wrote 331 words, Way more than the suggested 275-290 words. While you did write more, you will not impress the examiner because your long essay also resulted in more spelling, grammar, and cohesiveness problems in your essay. All of which, due to your wrong focus on essay length instead of proof reading to lessen your errors, will result in a fully scaled back score for your work. These errors are so marked, your percentage penalties could very well prevent your passing score when combined with your TA error.