IELTS task 2 - University education can ensure to get a decent job

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work.

How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Competitive job market is getting tougher in this globalization era. Even though continue study to the university is important, I partially agree that start work after school graduation should obtain a great benefit experience. A detail explanation about writer views will be discussed in this essay.

These days education becomes the measurement of your capability. Some people believe that education creates a great deal of advantageous skill. This circumstance leads recruiters hiring an individual with higher educational achievement title. So, wide range of parents encourages children to complete their bachelor degree in education. By doing that, the children are having guaranteed to obtain job with a good salary.

On the other hand, start working directly after finishing your school will ensure your experience in the world of work. It was proven by many well-known people around the world. For instance, Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft, started his first work at IBM when he was in senior high school. He prefers for pursue his desire in programming rather than in the formal education. That was a peculiar pace for the young teenager who did not know what will happen to him in the future. But, these days that teenager becomes the richest-man in the world due to his experience in computer programming.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that, start working after graduated at school has a significant effect on your life. Where possible, you can take a part time job in the night, while you have a university course in the morning. That is the most common ways people do nowadays.

Bayu, I like the way that you are thinking in this essay. You did a perfect comparison of the two sides of the argument and gave the reader enough information to be able to come to their own decision as you concluded the essay. By using commonly known examples like Bill Gates, you were able to show that there are some exceptions to the college rule and that the side that thinks it is best to work after high school may have some right ideas after all.

Your grammar is starting to improve but you still need help in making it better. So here we go :-)

THE competitive job market is getting tougher in this globalization era.

Even though continue study to the university STUDY is important

start work after school graduation should obtain a great benefit experience. WORKING AFTER HIGH SCHOOL HAS ITS BENEFITS

A detailED explanation about THE writer views

This circumstance leads recruiters TO HIRE hiring an individual

with A higher educational achievement title

So, wide range of parents encourages THEIR children to complete their bachelorS degree in education.

the children are having guaranteed to obtain A job with a good salary.

start working directly after finishing your HIGH school will ensure your experience in the world of work.

He preferREDTO - past tense

rather than in the formal education

But, these days that teenager becomes THAT TEENAGER BECAME the richest-man in the world due to his experience in computer programming.

start working after graduated ING at school

part time job in the night

you have a university course ATTEND UNIVERSITY COURSES in the morning

common ways

Hello Bayu. let me try to give some recommendations on your passage.


In that case, you wrote incorrect noun form


First, after These days you need comma
then, you cannot directly wrote recruiters hiring, attention to grammar
last, i guess you want to make passive voice here.

thanks, hope it can helps