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[IELTS] - 'The unsolvable problem' - In many countries, people are living longer.


cswords 1 / 1  
Oct 31, 2012   #1
In many countries, people are living longer. Some people have worry about this. What extend do you think it benefits or not?

--Start
As long as we have the great progress in the medical science and the improvement of people's standard of living, human can live much longer than before, some experts of population problem pointed out that this will cause an increase of the percentage of old people in the world, which may put a heavy burden on the young people. However, from the different aspects of human's production and culture, it is not a difficult to show that the benefits of that overweigh the negative impacts.

It is mostly uneasy for the aged people to join and contribute to the production, which is the major support to those experts' opinion, but such a problem will be solved with no much effort for the following reasons. Firstly, because of the improvement of technology the efficiency of modern production is much higher than that in the old years. Therefore, it may not be necessary to have as many people who can work as before. Secondly, the current young generation is better educated than their parents, which may also enhance their efficiency of working. Last but not least, the current aged people are healthier than those before. Such reason makes them able to retire late, so the number of aged people who cannot work may not increase much.

Elder people carry more of the culture than the youths. If people live longer, there will be more generations living at the same time than before, which means an ease of keeping the human's culture, easy communication between the people who have the cultural background of different ages, and the wonderful chances for the young people to learn the culture from their older generations. Thus there is a huge advantage to the human's culture development of having more old people living together with us.

As a conclusion, there is no much unsolvable problem but quite significant benefit in the impacts of people to live longer than before.
--End

Hi I just had an IELTS exam and these are the topic I remember (couldn't be exact) and the essay I rewrite at home, which should have a same level as the one I made in the exam. Could you mates please help to have some suggestion of this essay to improve?

Inspired2012 4 / 20 6  
Nov 14, 2012   #2
As long as we have the great progress in the medical science and the improvement of people's standard of living, human can live much longer than before . S ome experts of population problem pointed out that this will cause an increase of the percentage of old people in the world, which may put a heavy burden on the young people. - you can split them out into 2 sentences ;) Other minor errors are already corrected by Scientiana.

319 words. Very good essay, I bet you will get your desired mark. Goodluck. ;)
OP cswords 1 / 1  
Nov 15, 2012   #3
Thanks Scientiana. I learned so much from you:)

Thanks for your encouragement, Inspired2012. I will remember that.

Thanks annguyen. I will make effort to select the proper way to present my idea.


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