Can we use animals for our personal benefit or this is unacceptable?

Some people say it is OK to use animals for our benefit, others say it is not good to exploit them. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

Animals should serve the people

Some individual believe that human should use animal for their personal benefit while other argues that this is a bad practice. This essay will discuss the both aspects of the argument. In my opinion, this is necessary to use animal for the scientific and security purpose other than this they should be allowed to live freely.

One the one hand those who do not support animal exploitation is a good practice might argue that all animals are living being they should also have the liberty to live their life. The reason for this is people exploiting them dreadfully, they killing and eating them. For instance, In recent survey of New York time it is claimed that Beef eating has increased from 10 to 20% compared to last year analysis. Therefore, it is not a good idea to utilize them for human benefits.

On the other hand, people who support utilization of animals might support the idea that it is for the betterment of society, scientist do have to perform the experiments and for this, animals are the best object. For example, all the medicines first tried and tested on animals and then on successful completion of experiment, these medicines get approval for the consumption of humans. As a result of this, animals are necessary for the new invention and improvement in medical facilities.

In conclusion, although animals can be utilized for the scientific experiments and medical test, In my opinion, there is no deny in the fact that animals should to be exploited for the consumption of human beings.

Need 7 bands in IELTS Please help

hello,
i think you need to practice more especially your Grammar.
next are few corrections that i could think of.

Some individual believe that human (humans) should use animal(animals) for their personal benefit while other (others) argues(argue) that this is a bad practice. This essay will discuss the( delete the) both aspects of the argument. In my opinion, it is necessary to use animal (animals) for scientific and security purpose (purposes) other than this they should be allowed to live freely (safely).

Some individuals believe that human ...
... and security purposes other than this ...

One the one hand, those who (...) exploitation is a good practice might argue that all animals are living being they should also have ...

.., people whosupport utilization of animals mightsupport the idea that it ...

... animals should to not be exploited for ...

1. I suggest not to repeat words too many times (support, utilize), you might try to use synonyms (thetherasus might be a good source for that)

2. Focus on ",", those minors points can absolutely reduce your band score

3. Your choice of words and grammar are not complex enough to achieve band 7

4. I am dubious about whether your essay meets 250 words or not.

Sincerely,

Rahul, the highest score this essay will get is a 4. One of the main reasons for the mark down is because you presented your complete opinion within the paraphrased statement instead of as a stand alone paragraph within the essay itself. The paraphrasing should have ended by saying; "Considering these discussion aspects, I will be presenting my opinion on the topic within the forthcoming discussion." You never discuss factual information in the opening statement because that is only meant to serve as a way of judging whether you properly understood the instructions you were given or not. Your grammar development is very poor. Even for simple sentences you are unable to properly present a coherent idea that would properly discuss the topic. You need to practice developing proper simple English sentences in order to better present logical statements that will make sense to the reader. Your conclusion also needs to better summarize the information previously presented in the discussion. I hope that you will show some improvement with your next practice tests. Remember, improve your reasoning presentation and never present actual information in the opening statement.