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If we can use it in appropriate way, the social networking can really narrow the gap between people


faizunaa17 49 / 91  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
Nowadays, social media develops rapidly and it make people's way to communicate within others has been change. As a result of that, it makes some arguments that social application will create worst relationship between people. In my view, I tend to be disagree, because it still has many advantages.

Actually, we cannot lie that the messaging tools bring some drawbacks. One of them is people will be lazy to meet up with their friends, even with family, because they think it is already enough to send the latest update via mobile. For example, a father in the past time usually like spent their weekend with his adolescence, but now, they just send the pictures or videos that illustrates their activity. Worstly, it will bring negative effects for children psychology feel father-less caused by only few times he plays with his dad.

However, there are some positive aspect that will defeat the disadvantages. First, chatting application has a tremendous flexibility. Taken example of that, today people can send their recent activity just in seconds although they separate in thousand kilometers. This is one of the evidences that electronic media bring the most efficient way compared with the past centuries when people used a letter that sent manually through post office and it took a long time for received. Second, some of the media contain many features like send documents, voices, images, videos, and also emoticons. This can be used to increase the personal relationship quality. For instance, when our wife sad, we can send funny images or video that make them smile even happier than before. Also, we can make a video call with our pupils every time and everywhere especially when we doing business to other cities even abroad, they can still see us lively just like without any distances.

All in all, although social networking has some bad sides, there are still a lot of advantages that can really make closest relationship, if we can use it in appropriate way. (331 words)
ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
Aloha Faiz, let me share my thoughts with you;

(1) Actually, we cannot lie that the messaging tools bring some drawbacks.(you can change your sentence more educated. Here is my sample;Admittedly/broadly speaking/in general,electronic messaging tools bring some demerits )

(2) One of them isin fact, people will be lazy to meet up with their friends, even ... (I think your flow is hard to understand. I suggest you to make it clear by using pattern you like)

(3) For example, a father in the past time usually like spent their ...(make your example stronger than this because this example is too general. You can take an example about your experience or result of latest research)

(4) Worstly,(adverb = adjective ==> worst NOT worstly )


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