i wrote this essay and i need help because im bad writter and i dont speak english so well
I consider myself an Orthodox Christian, because I believe in God, but there are times when it is difficult to follow his rules, especially when war is going on toward you. In Serbia, people who are living by me are mostly Orthodox Christian. Now I'm living in the United States, Siloam Springs, Arkansas, and all people at John Brown University are Christian, but not just Orthodox. There are some differences between Christian people here and Christian people in part of Europe where I'm from. In my entire life living with all kinds of people, I have seen that differences in religion can cause problems in some parts of world. For example, people can be friendly and compassionate with others, but Christians are more often helpful and friendly. Most of the time, if somebody is non-Christian they don't help them, or maybe they don't relate with them. However, in my experiences I learned that sometimes it doesn't matter if you believe in same God. I have seen different types of Christians fighting one against the other even if they were saying that they are fighting for their beliefs, to be precise, their religion.
Everyday watching TV, I saw a lot of kids walking on the streets, hungry and tired of wars around them. For me it was natural to see those kids and other people in that situation, but I never thought that they were trying to survive everyday endangering their lives. I lived for nineteen years of my life in Serbia without realizing how serious that situation was. One day, ten guys from neighborhood were called to survey in army. After that happened I started feeling fear because I knew that those guys are going to risk their lives for all Serbians, and also those guys may don't come back. In that point of time I started questioning myself: Why is this happening to us? What is a reason of war? The answer to these questions can be mix of bad people in the government, and also differences in religion and beliefs. Most of the politician's used religion to encourage solders and nations just because they needed them to reach their goals. The big problem happened when JNA (Yugoslav People's Army) began falling apart; reason for that was exactly that same propaganda and differences in religions. So because of it, solders began with killing between them self. From the international reputation as a powerful, well-equipped, and well trained force, JNA went to weak and unstable unit. However, news reporters informed that JNA is doing well, and that our country is closer and closer to wanted peace, which of course wasn't true.
After army lost it strength, country felt apart and from one country, Yugoslavia, we have countries like Slovenia, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Macedonia, Montenegro, and Serbia. When country felt apart, one more thing happened as well, and that is formation of two war sides or two enemies. On the one side we had Catholic countries: Croatia, and Slovenia. On the other side we had Orthodox counties: Serbia, and Montenegro. In middle of two fires was Bosnia and Herzegovina. B&H was country with most differences in religion. Before a war it was made of Serbs (around 50%), Bosniaks (around 40%, Muslim population), and Croats (around 10%). All those differences resulted conflict between ethnic groups, and that it went straight in war at this area, and Bosnia and Herzegovina was war zone, place of destruction. People were terrified because enemy was all around. Literally enemy lived in houses in same neighborhood. And then extreme, foolish, unmoral, horrible war began. The situation began so bad that armies would come and kill all citizens of towns just for revenge. The example of this was destroying of whole towns in couple hours at the heart of the battle ground. First Croats and Muslims deleted two small towns and one bigger town called Vlasenica which had over 12 thousand of Serbian people. After massive killing happened, the other side, Serbian side, decided to do same to one of Muslim's towns called Srebrnica. Here we can see how is difficult to follow His rules. A solder put in use old quotation "eye for eye, tooth for tooth" in which a person who has taken the eye of another in a fight is instructed to give his own eye in compensation. But in this situation eye was replaced for lives, thousands of lives. A Greek solder who was a part of the Orthodox army gave an interview to Greek national TV station.
Reporter: "What did you do when bombarding stopped? "
Greek Solder: "We just came in and clean up a place from live enemy."
Reporter: "What are you fighting for?"
Greek Solder: "I'm fighting for big Greece, and Europe free from Muslims and other Orthodox Christian enemies."
Soon after this interview was published, young men were very excited and they wanted to go in Bosnia and join their forces in "glory" fight. However, Greek leaders didn't send their army; rather than that they sent weapons and food to their people who were already there because they didn't want to get in conflict with U.S. and N.A.T.O. who tried to "solve" problems on their way.
Slowly war became a not just fight for land or control; it became fight for ideology, beliefs, and religion. Throughout history we get used to see Catholic people doing wrong things or fighting for badly values. Here we have same situation where Croat Catholics were fighting united with Muslims. One day, after all secrets get known we will recognize did they make mistake or both sides made one huge mistake. I'm still looking for reasons, and I'm asking myself everyday "Why did this happen? And what was wrong with living together in unity and harmony during bright days of big Yugoslavia?" At this point, the situations are still in the same conditions, the problem is still alive and it should be solved, it does not matter who takes the decisions, but only important thing is that we can live together! We don't have to be Christians to have moral and humanism in our self. By the way, what is moral than a respect for all creations of the world.
EF_Kevin [Contributor] 88 Edit Delete Move 75.69.136.118
Apr 20, 2009 #4
You need a clear thesis for this essay. What exactly is your main point? Are you writing about the dangers of religion in general? About the specific causes of the war you reference? Try to capture your main point in a single sentence that you can put at the start of your essay. Then, make sure that everything you write in your essay can be tied back to that main point, supporting it in some way.
You should also probably avoid including statements that involve sweeping generalizations about groups of people. So, "the not Christian, the bad Christian, and the good Christian. The not Christian people and the bad Christian people were probably one of those kinds of people who caused problems through history in the Balkan region." seems a tad one-sided, for instance.
...especially when war is going on toward you all around me .
In Serbia, people who were living by me are mostly Orthodox Christian. Now I'm living in the ...
After the army lost it strength, the country felt apart and from ...
When the country felt apart, one more thing happened as well, and that was the formation of ...
Good!! During the beginning and end of the essay, you keep the theme of having trouble practicing your religion because of the problems in your world. Now, make sure you include that theme in the middle of the essay as well. In the middle of the essay, add a sentence or two about how it is hard to reconcile your religion with the circumstances.
