Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable

watch sport live

Watching a live performance such as a play, concert, or sporting event is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television

I agree with that idea bucause its better to watch these show on the real life . These is some of the following reason why I prefer watching live than watching on TV

First and foremost , Watching live helps us feel the atmosphere . Why is it most important because when we feel the atmosphere, it will give us more emotions like fun, excitement, ....

Secondly, when watching these show live. We can also share our emotions to the people . Some of the examples is your friends ,.....But you can also share your emotions when you and your friends is watching the show together on TV . Althought watching on TV cant share as much as when you watch live .

And the last reason i can think about its that watching TV can hurt your eyes and the sound will be cracked or its will not be real . To sum up , you should watch it live for a better experience

In first line "bucause" should be 'because'. Also "its" should be 'it is'.
If you are writing multiple reasons you will use 'these are' and if you are writing one reason it should be 'this is'. You wrote "these is" which is clearly wrong and as I have said, when writing multiple reasons so 'these are' will be used. Third line "reason" should be 'reasons'. Sixth line "most" should be 'more'. Second paragraph fifth line "is" should 'are'. Second paragraph seventh line "cant" should be 'can not'. In your last paragraph 'I' should be capitalized. In line one of last paragraph "its" should be 'is' and third line "its" should be 'it'.

You did not properly restate the prompt topic in your discussion paraphrase. You failed to properly format the paper as well. Did you write this using an android device? It is difficult to read and does not provide a proper paragraphing format in your presentation. Please make sure to use the correct format next time. Use a laptop or a PC, never use an android device to write your practice essays. You will not be able to train yourself to properly format your response during the actual test if you do not use the same equipment as the testing center does.

You only wrote 165 words of undeveloped sentence ideas and reasoning presentations. You will not be able to pass the Task 2 essay test with this kind of work. You wrote this more in the manner of an English writing exercise instead of a Task 2 practice essay. The way it was written is more grade school essay type than college level work. It is lacking in so many ways that I am not sure where to start with advising you on how to improve.

Try to review the sample essays here first. Get a feel for task 2 writing requirements. Once you understand what is expected of your discussion essay, you should be able to come up with a more college level type of response to your next practice essay.

i think the essay is too short and unclarified

That is a sloppy essay, I think. You wrote just 169 words too short. There are many grammatical and orthographic errors in the essay. This essay really doesn't meet the requirements of task 2 writing.

The essay is very short and poorly formatted, as already mentioned by a few colleagues. It's visually unappealing, whit it's loose lines and spaces before punctuation.

The conclusion is very shallow, and should not presente sections as "reason i can think about".

The essay is short and format of the essay is not clear