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TOEFL - Watching television broadcast - 'fertile land of numerous shows'



Dande 4 / 6  
Oct 10, 2011   #1
With the skyrocketing boom of entertainment, audience now have a variety of recreational facilities at every night and every weekend. In this regard, belief has it that attending a live performance, namely, a play, concert or sport event is superior to watching television broadcast. In my opinion, I suppose the latter option is more preferable for a couple of reasons.

To begin with, enjoying the performance on television is rather advantageous, both in terms of time and money. Television programmes, for most of the part, technically start timely according to announced schedule. The time for a TV show just takes me about one or two hours; as for a live performance, I am, however, lost to a few more hours for preparation, for a taxi heading to the show and home. Also, enjoying a comfortable sofa at home costs me less than struggling for that at a stadium or a theatre with a expensive but rare ticket. Hence, when it comes to TV broadcast, it represents more convenience.

Furthermore, what makes a crucial difference is the additional information regarding the event via interpretation at home. In actuality, break between two period of a football match offers a perfect time for conversation among experts. It is passionately interesting and useful to listen to professional opinions around the match. This drives me to deepen my criticism ability, having a multi-sided view. Clearly, watching at home rules out disadvantages at a live show, such as limited vision or too noisy a crowd.

In addition to convenience and supplement information, programmes on air are quite variable in options that watchers will never be constrained. Should a live show do not meet my expectation, even disappoint my efforts to get there, I would be neither able to go home early nor move to other shows. This will never be a problem for a television where a vast amount of programmes is showed at the same time. Needless to say, the abundance of option significantly draws watchers' interest.

To sum up, I highly urge that people who like qualified entertainment watch shows or programmes on television. Not only does it offers convenience, it also accompany watchers with useful information. Moreover, television channels bring a fertile land of numerous shows.

My TOEFL test is coming, plz help me to improve!!!!!!!!!
Rate and give me a score from 1 to 5 plzzzzz !!!! I welcome all comments!

OP Dande 4 / 6  
Oct 10, 2011   #2
I dont know what's wrong with " belief has it that". I am taught that it is the same as " It is believed" or "People believed that".

"for a couple of reasons" or " due to following reasons"? I think we use " due to" to represent negative ideas. My arguments here mainly support the advantages of television broadcasting.

Additionally, " commute", I think, refers to an act of traveling to workplace or somewhere on a regular basis.

Would you mind rating me a score and I am happy for more comments ~^^~
dumi 1 / 6793  
Oct 11, 2011   #3
But I dont know what's wrong with " belief has it that". I am taught that it is the same as " It is believed" or "People believed that". .... No, your way is not incorrect. Mine is just a suggestion. I think you can write well, but I prefer you write in direct speech that helps you improve clarity of your sentences.


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