In today's globalized world, there is a raising concerns about whether rich countries should provide financial aid to poorer ones or the leaders of these countries should be responsible for supervising their citizens. Although wealthy countries should provide resources to underdeveloped countries, I believe that the governments should take charge of caring their residents.
On the one hand, there are some reasons why affluent countries should share resources among poorer ones. One of the advantages is that it will help narrow the wealth gap between nations and create an equitable world. This is because by sharing financial support, poor countries will have opportunities to renovate facilities, infrastructures and improve services which reduces crimes, poverty and enhances living standards of residents. For example, through external aids, the governments of impoverished countries can invest in national educational system such as constructing new schools and purchasing modern educational equipment, ensuring students to approach and have good quality education.
On the other hand, the authorities play a key role in the development of these developing countries. By relying on their own capabilities and using available resources, the governments of these nations can better understand and respond to their specific needs and priorities. As a result, they can find effective solutions and appropriate policies to tackle their social challenges. This is a sustainable approach as it helps meet massive demand of their citizens and adopts with significant changes in the future. Moreover, receiving excessive international fund could make these countries become depedent on rich nations and lack of motivation to develop steadily. Indeed, if these financial aids were cut out, these countries will face with several difficulties in economic growth as they lose their primary source of funding contributing to their development.
To recapitulate, while receiving financial resources from other countries can be good for poor countries to develop, I am convinced that the administration of poor countries should prioritize using available resources to promote their economy themselves.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15168 raising concerns
Incorrect word usage. You mean to say "rising" concerns, meaning a developing of concerns. Raising means to lift of move, or increase an amount. This mistake will lower your preliminary TA score.
I believe that the governments
Clarify your opinion. :Which government are we talking about? The international or local government? Remember, the errors are usually in the details. So work on making sure that you do not get TA and C+C deductions during the preliminary scoring round. Add up the 3 errors so far and the essay will probably achieve a more than 50% failing preliminary score, indicating that the essay will gain a final failing score as well because too many percentage points were lost during the preliminary scoring review.
