To me, this essay already engaged to the prompt. However, let me give you minor advices.
As well as the doctors, teachers play tremendous roles in the life.
such as hard working(adjective) , teamwork, discipline (noun) and setting goals (do you mean goal setting) .
Try to add just mentioned three equal words
ex:
adjective, adjective and adjective.Is this essay deal with IELTS ?
Overall,
The using of overall is addressed for overview commonly in Task 1. In task 2 you can use
In conclusion,
To sum up, or
In summary.